Saturday, February 27, 2010

weddings and engagements and labels...

today is kinda gloomy i don't feel so amazing but thats okay. now i will ramble about my thoughts on weddings and engagements.

i watch some wedding shows like say yes to the dress and i've seen that one show with the guys that have a wedding venue i don't remember what its called. but anyway it baffles me sometimes cause this one dress i saw was 17,000 dollars. like seriously? it makes me crazy to think that people could spend that on a dress. personally i probably wouldn't even spend 200 dollars on a dress. so that makes me think of weddings. for one i do not like crazy blinged out rings. give me something silver and simple and cheap and i'm good well as long as it doesn't turn my finger green i'm good. and sometimes just the thought of a traditional wedding makes me sad. cause its like you're doing what everyone else is and for what? its your day. personally i wouldn't want to do it in a church i don't think. and i don't want to do the whole cake thing and the dancing thing either. i don't want to stand there for show and feed my husband to be cake i mean that could be private. and i dunno i just say have cake and be done. i love cake i just don't want to stand there and be the show. i don't dance so i don't care much for the whole dancing part of a wedding. personally i would just want something simple and then have a bbq potluck type of thing for my "reception"

then i was thinking about engagements. all about the story and the show and people bragging about how he proposed and whatever. i am not a super girly mushy person so this whole thing doesn't appeal to me much. it may be because i'm not mushy but i mean what is really the point of the whole "story" of a proposal? i mean i guess in theory i can understand but i dunno i'm not really one to gush or cry about it or want to tell everyone and their mothers my story. sometimes i feel like thats a private thing a private decision and the show that it is put on it seems not all that worth it to me. thats just me and my silly opinions though.

labels they bug me i mean i love the label of marriage and such. but its so annoying sometimes at how focused people are on the label of "in a relationship" i mean i guess its nice but i don't want to flaunt anything around again its totally for show and honestly sometimes it makes people feel like crap. but the whole label sometimes can't even express how things are at that moment. sometimes feelings are more than a label. they are what they are and it comes when it comes through God no matter what. but i dunno i guess lately i've been thinking about all of this a lot and i just don't want to be labeled i am what i am and my feelings/relationships are what they are. you can't even nessicarily say that with a label of some sort.

its not that i'm some morbid person that hates love i guess to me love is sorta private and putting it on a pedestal and using it for a show kind of bugs me. those are my 2 cents about it.

the last few days

well thursday justin and i went to that other CG and its amazing i love it there i feel better there than my own CG good thing mine is disbanding hahhaha. so i will probably go there for CG even though its farther away i don't care its people i love. the end.

we watched a movie called doubt i dunno it was weird i was mostly watching vivi cause she kept doing funny things oh to be a toddler. justin and i had a few little tifs then but we're fine. i was so tired but thursday i did have some great paralell parking times i did most of the ones i did great! i was stoked. but i was also frustrated and i had to go to the dmv yesterday.

so i went to the dmv i was there for two hours and i had to wait and wait and wait cause i had to apply to get my drivers lisence whatever that means. it means they took 20 bucks from me thats what it means and a whole two hours of my life! but i digress i finally got my number called and i paid my 20 bucks and made an appointment for my drive test which is on march 17th. hopefully i'll do good i'm gonna brush up on my drivers manuel and practice parking more and hopefully i'll be able to pass the first time. oh i pray i will.

later on i walked home in the rain i stopped at target which ugh i dunno i'm not fond of target its just the memories. but i got some stuff and was going to leave but i got one of those surveys on my receipt and the team lead was all flocking to me "do you have time to do this now" blahblahblah i was just like "GETMEOUTOFHERE" i'm not fond of when people swarm me haha.

justin came over later and we had some good talks and a bunch of craziness and we watched a movie it was a pretty good time. love him!

now i'm just blogging on this gloomy day i'm gonna go shower now though and read my book. good times gotta love it! the dog is giving me a stare down sorta creepy ah well. til later people!

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Thursday, February 25, 2010

uh oh there i go again..

i've been thinking. sometimes that gets me in trouble sometimes not.

i was thinking about Community Groups and i know they are good but i think it'd be better if people went willingly without being told you HAVE to. i mean who is anyone to force anyone to go to one? i dunno i'm just not totally fond of the idea i guess. i don'tw ant to be told i should/have to do this and that its a requirement. if i want to be social i will be. but forcing me to talk or go somewhere isn't any way to get me to do something. in fact it will make me back off and leave completely but thats just me. and my own thoughts on the issue.

i'm excited to be doing some more book reviews soon. love it and i'm also looking around at other things i may do.

for now i have to go practice parking and then tomorrow i have to go to the dmv to fix some stuff. who knows what will go down haha. i'm kinda excited to see whats gonna happen. i'm happy about how some things are going. which i may or may not talk about at some point. consider yourself lucky if you know what i'm talking about.

tonight i'm going to a different CG with some people i really love so it will be awesome. i'm out for now. later!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

sometimes i just wonder if life was any weirder what i'd do. hahha

the other day my mom went to her massage appointment came home and said look! she had found a dead hummingbird and had a ziploc bag in her coat so she took the bird up and brought it home. and then proceeded to put it in a jar and put it in the fridge. i was SO grossed out

in other news i've been working on my parking so i can take my drivers test before my permit expires. i need to call the dmv to make an appointment and just hope and pray i can pass it hahha. scary oh well what can you di just really hope i do pass it the first time cause if i don't thats gonna suck. anyways i gotta do that and make some dinner and research and hopefully try to feel better.

blahblahblah gotta practice as much as possible and that is rawrish cause i don't like to do that hahahhaha. oh well. what can you do right? anywasy i'm out for now later people!

oh wait yesterday i was having a crappy day and then found out i won a book that was pretty awesome if i do say so myself! it was good i wasn't totally happy but it did brighten the day a bit. k for serious i'm out now

Monday, February 22, 2010

another sunday

it is a weird thing i was doing the role of three volunteers for so long that now i am back down to like a 1 volunteer role its so strange to me its almost like i feel naked. the sermon yesterday was on serving and calling poeple to serve and thanking those that do. i didn't get to hear most of the sermon i was being service lead for the 11:15 service i was filling in for momma janni. and i was volunteering at the 9 am service in the toddler 2 room as usual.

the day started off not so well let me give a bit of backstory.

saturday night my neighbor texted me asking if i could babysit at 9:30 so i said sure why not. i go there and she says yeah i'll be gone for an hour, hour and a half tops. so i'm like okay cool. justin came over for a bit but he was falling asleep so he left. before he left she texted me saying she was almost on her way. this was at 11 something. so the whole 1 hour thing turned into 5 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so bored and tired and she didn't get home til what 2:20 am. and i had to wake up at 7:30 the next morning. i was really frustrated. she also came home half drunk so she was kinda loud and i dunno i tried to humor her but i guess i just don't have the same type of humor at things she said where "effing hilarious" i just wanted to go home and go to bed.

i digress

so i wake up so exhausted no surprise. and the day actually went better than i thought. the two year olds were actually pretty good. i do have a few quotes cause its just hilarious...

we somehow got to talking about pizza and this gem was exposed...

"my favorite pizza has peptoroni" -casey

then sophia my dear sophia who is so stinkin cute. she pushed someone and i asked her why she did that and she said "she was in my area" she hand motioned where her area was. and i was like "your personal space?" and shes like "YEAH!" in a happy excited tone. and i'm just like okay well don't push just say please can you move. or something like that but it was cute and i laughed.

then i was talking to sophia asking her if she was being nice. and then another kid pops up next to me and just moseys and is all " i'm not being mean!" so cute.

anyway the service ran late so then i had to show kelly some things then i never made it to the meeting for the second service. ah well so i didn't really know the status of volunteers or whatever haha oh well i just sent kids to the rooms. during the service sometimes i check in with people in the room. then i commence with stealing vivi cause shes my favorite. i love her shes so stinkin cute she also really wanted to be stolen by me. awww love it!

anyway the day wasn't very exciting after that. went home hung out justin left came back a few hours later we hung out. and that was basically it.

today i hope to get a lot done lots of things i've meant to get done for awhile. work out maybe practice my parking. i need to return library books.

God is good like seriously i'm so blessed by all these amazing people i love it.

i don't think i wrote about this last week but i finally went back to my CG (they begged me after 3 weeks i was gone they said nothing funny how that works) then i go back and they annouce in april our group will be disbanding and i'm like wtf was that about? i mean i dunno its pretty funny but also kinda pointless. so i dunno what i'm gonna do.

but even so i have amazing friends who i love dearly. i have run out of nonsense to type about so until later my freinds!

does anyone even read this? comments! yes! GO NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

so today i was texted by my neighbor needing me to babysit. so of course i need money i went. he was supposed to be napping. his name is carter and he is 2. then haha last time i watched him he was putting his arm around me while sitting on the couch. it was so cute. and he'd just look at me and go "hi!" (he did that today also)

well i loook over at him and he has his shirt in his mouth. and this is how the convo went.

me: what are you doing?
carter: eating
me: eating your shirt?
carter: yeah
me: does it taste good?
carter: no it tastes yucky!

i laughed a lot. hes such a weirdo.

Monday, February 15, 2010

oh sundays you are crazy

so sundays can be kinda crazy for me i'm at church for at least 5 hours a sunday.

i watch 2 year olds for the first service and then do check in for the second service and go upstairs to actually go to service after check in. which is usually 25 minutes after service starts that i'll actually be in service then.

the last few weeks certain 2 year olds have been complete monsters. so i wasn't really sure what today held and what would go on. haha sometimes it kind of terrifies me. so when i got hit in teh head with a toy i kinda didn't have any other hope for the day hahah. i did get two valentines from my kids in the room it was cute. so yeah i was kinda scared about the rest of the time but it redeemed itself by my dear sophia. she is my shaddow basically. i was talking to her during fishy time and asking if she knew how to use the big girl potty yet. this is how the convo went

"sophia do you know how to use the big girl potty?" -me
"i have a little potty" -sophia
"oh sorry my mistake do you know how to use it" -me
then this happened
"when i am a big girl i'm gonna use my mommys tampons" -sophia
"what?!??!" -me
*looks at me like i'm crazy* "i'm gonna use mommys tampons" -sophia

i tried so hard not to laugh. but that little girl cracks me up. i love her to death. she is definately my favorite! hahaha. that for sure redeemed the day. when i told her mom she laughed so hard and was like ohhhh man.. hahaha thats apparently sophias topic of choice as of late.

anyway the rest of yesterday was fine hung out with bff of course. cause we're always to gether we're kind of attached. we watched hoarders and went to staples and then watched the rest of hoarders haha i love that show its so fascinating to me. i'm weird. then bff went to church i was home alone i read for a bit played some games thennnn everyone came back. and bffa nd i watched music and lyrics. goooood times

things are changing haha i don't want to elaborate too much but i'm excited and a lot less scared than before.

also i am not service lead anymore HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm stoked i don't have to do that anymore. i mean i didn't mind it sometimes but it got to me having to do all that. but i am free from it now! love it.

thats all i got for now. tonight is CG haven't been in a month haha whoops. we'll see how that goes.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

birthday week!

so honestly i was kinda scared about birthday week dreaded it really. i don't remember what happened leading up to it. i had no plans i generally try to do that cause my birthdays normally suck and usually end up with me being blown off so i jsut try not to do anything.

before my birthday i had gone to a freinds birthday party which was SO fun we went to a restaurant and went bowling good times indeed. but anyway birthday week started on sunday we went out to dinner as a family to an italian restaurant that is local. so yummy they didn't have any desserts there or anything so they made us a birthday tootsie roll pop cake thing. it was so funny. i loved it. but heres the thing my whole family is in february it is my bro on the 7th me on the 9th, dad is on the 14th and mom is on the 28th. so we go out one time. bff came with us cause hello he goes with us everywhere!

nothing really happened on monday.oh wait monday was a sucko day lilly (my dog) had a seizure and then everything else really just sucked. but tuesday was birthday day! i hadn't really thought about anything honestly i planned to just stay homea nd watch lost maybe make a DQ run and get a free blizzard. little did i know what was in the works. justin (bff) had this little scheme. that involved first that he was getting a haircut which i've been annoyed with his hair cause its been too long and emo and does this flippy up thing. it just bugged me. but anyways then he got my friends to agree to meet up at DQ one to come get me and one brought me a cake! it was so cool and so we went to DQ and then hung out ate and stuff. then we went to goodwill (i know right we're such party animals!) and we browsed around for awhile. it was pretty fun. eventually he got me some books mostly cause he was like aren't you getting anything and i was all "are you just itching to buy me something?" and he said yes haha soo i found some books i probably could have found more if i looked but i was tired and didn't feel like looking. still it was nice and amazing and i had fun.

wednesday we went out to red robin for another birthday dinner that was fun saw some people i knew on the way out. and then we went to michaels and looked around for a bit.

yesterday i decided to go to a different CG i haven't gone to mine in a month so i went with kelly and ashley to their CG itw as pretty fun we stayed talking to our other friend beth til almost 11:30 crazy crazy but so fun.

today was a little depressing but what can ya do. hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

i just want to be sure that this is right. but how do i know what right really is? i don't so i guess i just have to trust and pray but sometimes thats so hard. and i don't want to disappoint anyone. ugh life is delightful sometimes.