and what fun we will have

so its beena while and i know that but i've been so super busy lately that i can't even take time to have myself think. it might be a bad thing or a good thing i'm not entirely sure yet. haha. anyways i'm sitting here listneing to matt hires and having this super obnoxious old man raspy smokers cough. hahah oh what fun.

but lately heres whats gone on. i've freaked outa nd freaked out more and more and more. and almost lost it. but i got it back don't worry. um things have been good for the most part.

i cannot even express how cool it is to have a best friend actually here i mean i was sooooo scared and apprehensive about it before but now psh that all flew out the window. its amazing! LOVE IT!


but i need a job.

dude i felt like i had so much to say but at the moment it slips my mind. like i was so used to being such a depressive person and justin came and now its like i'm happy but that is scary cause it hasn't been like that in a longlong time.

i think parts of me left with him when he left and now they are back like the part of me that hugs everyone and gets affection that part is back. and the laughter a lot of the laughter is back. i wish the cough didn't come though. haha anyways yeah i'm looking for a job now and hopefully will find one so i can get my life in order.

and today i saw some friends i didn't expect to see and it was glorious also church this morning involved us talking about the office instead of listening to the sermon like we should have been down at the CM desk. ahhahaha. and then we joked about being co-managers of the desk. oh man it was great times i love those people! thats all for now.

last night i sorta lost it. i was webcamming with my friend anna and justin. and at some point i just lost it cause i realized holy crap justin is coming for real. i guess seeing him on webcam really solidified it and i really got freakedo ut and had a moment about it. oi.

i dunno we'll see how it plays out. haha oh bother.

well today i felt like i needed to email our childrens ministry guy. to see if he needed help because we are really sort and we don't have a service lead really for the 9 am service so i asked if he needed help with email reminders and doing the schedule. so i am now doing the schedule. and earlier i was like ahhhhh cause i had so many things racing through my head at once i couldn't even read a book.

it was crazy so then i went of to community group......

i dunno like community group is great and all. and i get the point of it. but i don't like to talk. and today i had to talk and it really kind of frustrated me. mostly cause i don't like talking and it was like i was forced. and i sorta ended up crying. cause thats what happens. i don't like opening up to people i'm not completely close to and i'm not close with them thats true but i'm not totally close with many people. i have my core and that is what i need for now. i dunno it kinda frustrated me a little bit and i didn't know how to react to it.

hopefully tomorrow i can get stuff done on the schedule and such. i think now i will read my library book and go to bed. i'm trying to get that book done so i can start crazy love and start my book review book. oi vey. and i need to look for a job too. and do more etsy stuff mostly advertisement. ack k time for sleep until next time (which seems to be happening more often than not good for me) bye blogger friends!


aims

dundunDUN i'm totally tired and loopy and laughing all over the place hilarious.


anyways so lately i've been working on my etsy website its kinda i dunno the word for it. but yeah. so hopefully that will be done totally soon. now to think of advertising i need to get on the ball with that. wooot!

in other news so i've been going on the bloom forum/socialnetwork/bookclub thing. and i have to say its a super huge blessing i love those ladies a lot and they are amazing. its so great. though i need to start the book like a week ago. haha but i've been preoccupied this week i will for sure. even though i'm behind its cool! i'll catch up super fast.

i need to read more books too cause they are library books and due ackkkk. oh well maybe tomorrow. it shall be done.


i'm kinda stressed about some things mainly justin moving here cause i dunno just the whole thing stresses me out and it kinda freaks me out too. its gonna be a super huge transition for me.

other things make me sad like evan i guess i kinda thought when he moved back it'd be all instant bff and we'd hang out a lot and talk a lot. but i was wrong in that cause i've talked to him once and hung out with him once and those were on the same day two weeks ago. kinda disheartening but such is life. i guess the guys are better. it also baffles me that i was looking at my buddy list on aim/msn/yahoo. and most of them are guys and i was all "huh" how did that happen. haha kinda weird.


not quite sure about that. but anyways i'm not sure what to write anymore at the moment so i should probably wrap this puppy up. feel free to comment and i love you all my new followers from bloom! what are we? blossoms? or bloomers (HAHAHA) i dunno but either way you're amazing.

goodnight until later!

oh the struggle

right now i'm struggling my friend who got hit and is recovering well she can have visitors and two of my friends have asked me to go with them now. but i just can't do it. i can't go and see ang when shes not ang i dunno i feel sorta like a douchebag for it but i dunno ugh its frustrating me cause i feel guilty but even the thought makes me tear up and i dunno what to do i mean i know its right for me to not go but its still hard. i dunno ughhhhhhh


in other news i went to community group today it was good and my back hurts that is bad.

and i'm awaiting the book to come and i should read my library books but off to organize my music i go! until later folks!

oh for the love of cheese! i do love cheeese i am kinda random at the moment.

i don't remember when i wrote last so i don't know whats happened but i was probably cranky cause i had a hugehuge cranky state. but i have snapped out of it. and no matter how much things suck right now i'm okay. which is kind of weird for me but lately i haven't been cranky and i haven't cried a lot and i've just been in a generally good mood even though i was pmsing and am now on my period so thats really kind of baffling to me. but i'll take it!


i also started reading psalms with alicia we get on msn and discuss the chapter but we haven't done that in awhile we've been busy.

this just in i broke the dishwasher and don't know how to fix it so i just turned the power off of it on the break wooooo.

aye yi yi

in other news i miss my friends. but justin is moving up here soon woooo! i never thought it'd happen and now it is and it kinda scares me haha oh well.

AND i have this friend anna shes great shes married and has a little girl named october (SO STINKIN CUTE) and i found out the other day that she considers me an auntie for october and it was so exicting to me so i'm auntie amy! how cool is that it has made me so giddy all week. now she just needs to move her little fam over to this area she really wants to then it'll be golden i tell you GOLDEN!

reading is fun, and i'm so over the whole crocheting thing right now. i need to sell my jewelry and my scarves but i'm not so sure how i can pull that off. it hasn't worked so well so far so i dunno. gotta plan!

also i have joined this blog book club thing and i think i'm pretty stoked about it and right now i made a few friends already its fun i love it! i guess thats all for now. i have to think of my dilemma and finish doing my nails and then go to bed gotta get up for church wayyyy early cause i gotta walk oh bother. anyway til next time suckas!

Book Review - Real Church Does it exist? Can I Find it? by Larry Crabb

Do you think that church is what it used to be? How it felt for you in the past? What happened with that?

Those are some of the questions that are found in “Real church does it exist? Can I find it? Can you find it?” by Larry Crabb

When I first started reading this book. I was kind of skeptical because I wasn't sure if I was gonna agree with some of the points in it. But as I kept reading I found that yeah I actually kind of agree with some of his points. I'm sure everyone has been in that situation and has learned from it. And some may never find the actual church that they think is the best for them. But its more of a learning and growing process. Some parts like I said were iffy to me when I first started but as he kept going gradually I thought it made sense. He gives a really good spin on the whole issue of church or lack thereof and I really enjoyed it. If you are looking for some answers on the real church i'd suggest buying this book its pretty spot on.

if you would like to check it out here is a link

i received this as part of the booksneeze program i was not compensated in any way.

well since last time we talked oh blog friend. ummm july is over and in my opinion it sucked. but thats just me and my jaded view.

heres what went on on the upside my eye twitch went away. so that was good.

um worked on the blanket which still isn't done but i'm making progress i would be working on it now but i got tired of it.

we had the hottest week ever in seattle it was super horrible and miserable and i almost cried cause of the heat. i got heat rash also sooo uh goood times there.

last weekend was seafair! it was good times hydroplanes and the blue angels i took pictures also sunsets too. so that was cool.

but during the hottest week ever i went to an interview and got rejected yet again i dunno what to do but i'm so tired of it.

i also kind of got in a tiff with justin kinda still going on but i'm just infuriated and i dunno.

i went to community group for the first time in forever and a day so that was good but weird and i'm awkward. i'm just having awkward issues and poeple issues and no friends here issues.

i dunno i just feel like cussing all the time i don't want to go to church (not saying i have to but i'm just sayin) i just am a weird jumbled mess and i just want to say fuck it all. well i just did but you get the picture.

i feel like eeyore.

thats all i got for now. until next time blog world this is me signing out.

peace
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also i really miss my bff i don't think hes my bff anymore but i miss him nonetheless. and he'll always be a bff on my end. <3