oh hello blog...

yes my lovely little blog here has been super neglected. but its been incredibly crazy around here so that is why.

so when i last wrote i said something about having a bad sinking feeling in my stomach. well when that was happening my bff had gone to visit some girl. who knew i'd have such an effect on myself with that. but it was my intuition kicking up i knew it was bad right when he said he was going to see her. i just knew and i had said "uh oh" but thats just what came out of my mouth but i never knew until at all happened. so that all lead to him going down there doing things he has regrets for and he hadn't talked to me for a week then and he didn't see me for 2 weeks. basically my sleep was disrupted my appetite, my bowels even it was just such a severe affect. i couldn't even comprehend it. and the girl hated me which is so funny but i could tell by her facebook picture the look in her eyes i just got a super queasy feeling about the whole thing i knew it was bad. and my friend anna knew too. it was just such a baffling situation. he even wasn't himself anymore he said horrible and mean things to me which crushed me i can't even express how much that killed. but that was over the day before thanksgiving. thank goodness i don't think i could have handled it if that situation had lasted much longer.

things with the bff are great though i LOVE having him here i honestly can't even remember what it was like to not have him here in seattle. its so weird. we're so attached to each other its cute. i love him. aww but seriously it is kinda weird still for me to actually have a friend around. and especially one i trust so much. but its good i'm getting used to it and true i have a lot of faults still but hes slowly helping me work through them.

thanksgiving was kind of a nightmare. my extended family ugh. but i had a glorious reunion with bff. it was amazing. but thanksgiving sucko. ugh. i just really don't enjoy them. and there were so many people in the house that there was no room for me or bff anywhere. so we hung out in my room. but we didn't get told when dinner was ready or when it was dessert time. it was just a huge bummer. but my cousin heidis kid marcell is super cute. he gave justin a hug when he was leaving. he hadn't even known justin it was so stinkin cute. loved it. that sunday we went to the childrens museum for marcells 3rd birthday party it was fun i wish we could have stayed longer at the museum but we had to get out really quick.

after that mom and i got sick (i'm still sick now i keep getting it and getting rid of it and getting it again. ) but then there was the stuff with my dad. he had a catheter put in to help his uti problem. long story short he has to have surgery on tuesday.

lets see what else childrens ministry stuff well thats always going on but i had been service lead and i don't want to be but that will change i was so stoked i got told i can be in a room again. really its so heartbreaking when you go to do the child counts and they ask if you can come in the room and play with them. and you can't ugh rip my heart out seriously. but i get to soon. i would have this coming sunday but i had scheduled myself off that sunday. its a bummer but its good cause i'm sick anyway.

christmas is soon and i've been all bah humbug but i think it will be good. my parents gave me some money to buy presents for the family. so thats good. and i have some other things up my sleeve. hehe i'm kinda excited about it. i'll have to plan the christmas dinner cause we won't be going to the extended family thing since dad has his surgery on the 22nd. which is a blessing and a bother. cause honestly id idn't want to go see the family anyways. hah. what can ya do.


i'm gonna try to blog more regularly now. i'm stoked about the new bloom book and i just love bloom anyway cause that is a great community. i have a lot of books to read but i also have to go work on christmas presents. i will blog more later hopefully!