Tuesday, March 26, 2013

interesting happenings

Well today was weird. Its getting closer to the day when my light will finally be fixed. We have old wiring in part of our house and my light is attached to it. Ive been using this tiny lamp for 3 weeks now. It will be fixed thursday. And I have a new fixture. So thats exciting.

Not so exciting. Today while browsing on the internet, my screen went blank. i thought that my computer crashed but then my monitor started to smoke. So that was fun. And very smelly. Then I had to research monitors on the other computer. Ordered one even though I didnt want to. I would have liked one used or for free but I would be worried the same thing would happen again. Ah well, they arent as expensive as I thought. So thats good. Wont get to do much until the monitor comes. I can only do so much on my tablet.

Monday, March 25, 2013

what a weekend...

Well the weekend was alright.

I did go to joann's and thrifting but I didn't find anything at goodwill and never went to the second one cause I was too worn out. I got some yarn from joanns but now I’m worried I won't have enough for my chevron blanket. But that’s whatever I guess.

I'm on the mend, hopefully I’ll shake this stupid cold sometime soon.

The weather is beautiful out! I am super excited about the garden.

While out on Saturday I got a dress! It was from old navy which is surprising cause nothing ever fits me there but I’m excited about it.

Now I just have to get back on working out as soon as I’m done being sick. Ugh hurry up I need to lose this weight!

I have so many afghan ideas running through my head but I’m not done with one I was already working on. I need to do one thing at a time but I always jump back and forth craft wise.

This week we will have electrical work done on our house. And finally this weekend I will be able to have a light hooked up in my room. And I won't have to use this tiny lamp that doesn't put out very much light at all. But my light is hooked up to the bad wiring so we aren't using it. Plus I had to get a new light fixture. And then our house will get back to normal after we go through all the stuff that was in storage and repack it. Then it can all go back up. Which will be a huge task. oi. Not looking forward to it. But it will be better to have space in the house back.

I'm reading a really good book called “secrets over sweet tea” by Denise Hildreth Jones and I have been aching to pick it up again but I was too tired or busy. Hopefully I can finish that book today and start another one.

Now I’ll go into irritation mode. My grandma is a difficult woman I’ve written about that before. Well this weekend it kinda all went to crap again. My grandpa had been sick for like 5 days at this point he wasn't eating and was super congested and all this stuff. Well this weekend my grandma was going to a dog show and he wouldn't go to the doctor so she just went anyways. Cause dogs are more important to her than people are. Well she told my uncle who lives a half hour away to go take grandpa to the hospital cause he wouldn't listen to my grandma. Well I’m sure my grandma was just barking at him like usual and who wants to listen to that? Not me. So I don't blame him. But my aunt and uncle took him to urgent care and they wouldn't take him so he had to go to the hospital. Never mind that we live 5 minutes away from grandma and grandpa but that’s another issue I guess. But also the fact that no one was told that grandpa was admitted to the hospital. We find out like 4 hours later and my parents were in that same area that the hospital was in. but my cousin called my aunt and my aunt called my mom wanting to know info but uh we don't know anything. It was a huge mess. And then my parents went to the hospital cause they had called to see if he was admitted and he was. But again no one calls to let anyone know anything. Such a great family.

Not only that but when my parents got there. Grandma comes up with this gem “ how'd you know he was here?” um what do you even say. He IS her father for craps sake! Ugh not only that but this all happened on Saturday. Sunday grandma still went to the dog show and didn't go see grandpa her freaking husband at all. And didn't call him either. AND also shes not going til this afternoon because he has a lunch to go to with people its been planned for months. Cause these people haven't known the whole family for pretty much their whole lives and would understand that grandpa is in the hospital for the first time ever in his life with double lung pneumonia and a heart problem. Cause hes been on the wrong blood pressure meds for years which we also told grandma but because my aunt says shes known this for years makes it all about her yet again. When my dad had that same meds and it caused swelling so we knew first hand and told grandma but she never did anything about it. AND grandpa hasn't even been going to a doctor. Hes been going to an RN. oi. He was on the same med 3 doses but they were different names. This is such a mess. And I’m so disgusted with my grandma. I can't even believe her.

Now I’m all fired up again I need to get back to my happy place. Hopefully I can get to feeling better and stuff.

And maybe I could have some friends to talk to soon. But I doubt that will happen either. Off to email replying I go!

Friday, March 22, 2013

Since my serious posts I will do one not so serious.

I dunno how good it will be considering monday I got my period then tuesday/wednesday I got sick so now i'm still sick. Its kind of a bummer. I had planned to start working out this week again but that obviously didn't happen.

I did get some reading done. And on sunday I got one of my blankets done.

I'm super excited to go thrifting/shopping at joanns tomorrow. Hoping to to find some good yarn or craft things at the thrift store as well as joanns to get some supplies for a chevron blanket I want to make.

I have this crazy cough, and my eyes keep watering. I also feel like i'm deaf in one ear but its just plugged. I'm kind of a mess. I just wonder where all the snot comes from honestly.

Over last weekend we did a lot of work. The boy, my dad and I had to clean out the upstairs we have knob and tube wiring and we are getting it out of there and rewired so we had to clean up all the storage. My mom couldn't help because she has torn her meniscus. Boy it was hard and I worked up quite the sweat. Then we went out to dinner.

Sunday we went to church and then went out for lunch then went on a long walk at the park. It was so windy though but it was good we had a nice long talk and I think we connected more. Which is good.

Anyways I just wanted to let everyone know whats going on. Now i'm gonna go zone out again and have my crazy huge old man cough. Hopefully I will not get a massive headache again from all this coughing. Til next time!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Scent of Lilacs by Ann H. Gabhart


After the summer of 1964, life for Jocie Brooke will never be the same.
Life-changing events rarely happen in quiet Hollyhill, Kentucky, and when they do, they are few and far between. But for young Jocie Brooke and her family, they happen all at once during the humid summer of 1964. Though on the surface things are just fine, it seems like everyone in Jocie’s life has something they’re not saying, something they’re hiding from her-and from themselves. As Jocie digs into her family’s past, she stirs up a whirlwind of discoveries. Will she find the answers everyone so desperately needs? Or will her questions lead to truths better left hidden?
Combining unforgettable characters, true-to-life struggles, and the perfect dose of humor and nostalgia, this riveting story from bestselling author Ann Gabhart explores the very essence of new life and love.

This is the newest release from revell and Ann Gabhart. this really sounded like a great novel that i would be interested in. but unfortunately i just couldn't get into it no matter how much i tried. i always hate to not get into/finish a book but i just can't help it sometimes. i'm sure though that a lot of people will like this novel as it sounded pretty great just not one for me.

Available March 2013 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

thank you to revell for providing this copy of the book for review purposes.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Litfuse book tour Love in the Balance by Regina Jennings


 Handsome Cowboy or Debonair Tycoon.
How's a Girl to Choose?

Molly Lovelace dreams of a life without cares in Lockhart, Texas. She also dreams of handsome wrangler Bailey Garner, her ardent but inconsistent beau. The problem is, with Bailey's poor prospects, she just can't fit the two dreams together.

Then mysterious stranger Edward Pierrepont sweeps into town--and her life--and for the first time Molly wonders if she's met the man who can give her everything. But he won't be in Lockhart long and while it certainly seems like he talks about their glorious future together, she can't quite get Bailey out of her mind.

What's a girl to do with all these decisions when love is in the balance?


I was really anticipating this novel. the cover was really enticing. i am one that not only gets drawn to a book by its cover but also by the description. so i was really excited to get my hands on this one. but thats where the excitement ended. from the start of the novel i just couldn't really get into the story or really connect at all. it was such a disappointment to not connect with this novel. but you can't like them all.

thank you to litfuse and bethany house for providing this novel for review. i was not compensated in any way.

Regina Jennings is celebrating the release of Love in the Balance with a Kindle Fire Giveaway and a Facebook Author Chat Party on 4/4!


Love-in-the-Balance-giveaway-300

One "lovely" winner will receive:
  • A Kindle Fire 
  • A copy of Regina's Sixty Acres and a Bride and Love in the Balance
Enter today by clicking one of the icons below. But hurry, the giveaway ends on April 3rd. Winner will be announced at the "Love in the Balance" Author Chat Party on April 4th. Connect with Regina, get a sneak peek of her next book, try your hand at a trivia contest, and chat with readers just like you. There will also be many fun giveaways -- gift certificates, books, and more!

So grab your copy of Love in the Balance and join Regina on the evening of April 4th for a chance to connect and make some new friends. (If you haven't read the book, don't let that stop you from coming!)

Don't miss a moment of the fun, RSVP today. Tell your friends via FACEBOOK or TWITTER and increase your chances of winning. Hope to see you on the 4th!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

ugh google!

yesterday it was said that they are getting rid of google reader. but tons of people use it so i'm not sure why they are getting rid of it.

but man am i frustrated! i'm super picky about a reader and that was awesome. i've seen some people say they are getting rid of google friend connect though i'm pretty sure thats not true since i can't find anything saying that. i dunno what feedreader i will use now though. i'm maybe going with feedly or bloglovin but i am not sure on either one. feedly will take on the appearance of google reader i guess after july. which is intruiging. but bloglovin didn't import all my feeds. and its a little overwhelming to go through every one and see which it didn't subscribe to.

long story short.. i'm mad and over whelmed with the whole process.
It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!



Today's Wild Card author is:


and the book:

B&H Books (March 1, 2013)

***Special thanks to Laurel Teague for sending me a review copy.***

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:


Robin Caroll has authored twelve previous books including the Holt Medallion Award of Merit winner, Deliver Us From Evil. She gives back to the writing community by serving as Conference Director for American Christian Fiction Writers. When she isn’t writing, Robin spends time with her husband of twenty-plus years, her three beautiful daughters and two handsome grandsons, and their character-filled pets at home—in the South, where else?




Visit the author's website.

SHORT BOOK DESCRIPTION:


When Gina Ford, the daughter of a prominent Tennessee politician, goes missing from the University of Memphis a week after another girl was murdered on the same campus, police call in the FBI. Nick Hagar, married to his job as Special Agent in Charge, is assigned to the case, and when Gina’s body is found, her father demands justice.

Maddie Baxter is the forensic expert running DNA tests from the crime scene. When they come back without a match, Nick asks her to do a familial DNA run that yields a shocking result: the prime suspect is Adam Alexander, the very same guy who broke Maddie’s heart when she was in college.

But do scientific advancements tell the whole story? Strand of Deception offers romance, suspense, and a lively debate about the impact of DNA testing, for better or worse, on the United States justice system.



Product Details:
List Price: $14.99
Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: B&H Books (March 1, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1433672146
ISBN-13: 978-1433672149



AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:


Prologue



The stack of photographs slipped to the floor, splaying across the wood planks like wildflowers over a grassy meadow. Her hands trembled as tears flowed down her cheeks.



This wasn’t real. This couldn’t be happening.



Yet the pictures proved otherwise. This was real, very real.



Her knees weakened. She slumped into the leather chair behind the desk. Even the familiar whoosh couldn’t comfort her now. The proof of his betrayal assaulted her. On the floor. On the desk. In her hand.



Photographs of him in another woman’s arms. How could he do this to them, his family?

To her? Surely he knew this would destroy them, but he cheated anyway. She didn’t understand. Did they mean so little to him?



Her heart ached in a way she never thought possible. Like someone shredded her insides. Another sob escaped her clenched lips. It bounced off the walls and rattled her ears. She never imagined betrayal like this would hurt so badly. So deeply.



She held her head in her hands, her elbows digging into the unyielding wood of the desk. Her lungs fought to push air in and out. Her legs wouldn’t stop quaking.

The morning sun beat past the curtains and flooded the loft with light. How dare such a symbol of joy invade when her entire life had just been destroyed?



Swallowing against a dry mouth, she bit her bottom lip and stared at the photographs. All of a sudden, she felt physically ill. This would destroy not only their family, but his career. His future. Was that why the pictures were taken?



Her heart slammed against her ribs as another thought raced through her mind . . . Why were the pictures here? Everything in her didn’t want to believe what stared her right in the face. But there was no other explanation. The photos were here . . . for what? Money?



A favor?



Blackmail?



Bile burned the back of her throat. This was all wrong. Everything.



Her mind struggled to comprehend. She’d let him into the family. Trusted him. Thought she loved him and he loved her. Apparently, she was wrong.



Dead wrong.



The pictures mocked her from all sides. This was her fault. She didn’t have a choice now—she’d have to confront him and hear his excuse, not that she’d believe any lie he told. She’d destroy the photographs, all of them, and demand the negatives. Then she’d shut him out of their lives forever, even though it would kill her.



Her legs barely supported the weight of her decision as she ran for the bathroom.





Chapter One



“Adversity is sometimes hard upon a man; but for one man who can stand prosperity, there are a hundred
that will stand adversity.”
 - Elvis Presley



Two Weeks Ago



“We call Ms. Madeline Baxter to the stand.” Maddie wiped her hands on her skirt and stood. She’d testified at various trials over the years, but never one like this. Only a handful of people sat in the stuffy courtroom, the heat turned too high. She took the oath to tell the truth amid little fanfare before taking her seat in the witness stand.




She glanced over the few people sitting on the very hard, very uncomfortable pews. The judge had closed the hearing to the media, but the hounds waited just outside the oversized doors of the Shelby County Courthouse. Those allowed inside were legal figures, police, family members, and of course, the defendant.



“Ms. Baxter, will you please state your name and occupation for the court record?”
1



She leaned forward to the microphone. “Madeline Baxter. I’m a forensic scientist specializing in serology and DNA.”



“And you are currently employed by the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation, correct?”



Maddie licked her lips. “In the Forensic Services Division, yes.”



The defense attorney shuffled through pages on the legal pad he held. “Can you tell us a little about your professional back- ground and qualifications, Ms. Baxter?”



Standard questions, but for the first time in her career, she felt like she was in the hot seat. “I hold a bachelor’s degree in chemistry, as well as one in forensic science from the University of Tennessee. I graduated magna cum laude ten years ago and have been working for the TBI ever since. As such, I am a commissioned law-enforcement officer.”



“Would you be described as an expert in your field, Ms. Baxter?”



They always asked the same question, just worded in various ways. Getting it on the record. “Yes.”



“And the lab where you conduct your tests . . . is it accredited?”



“The TBI forensic lab is accredited by the American Society of Crime Laboratory Directors/Laboratory Accreditation Board.”



“Good.” The lawyer paused for effect, Maddie was sure, returning to the table where the defendant sat, back straight and shoulders squared. “Now, Ms. Baxter, I’d like to direct you to a recent DNA test you conducted at the request of my office, regarding the defendant, Mr. Mark Hubble.”



And here we go. Maddie licked her lips again. “Yes.” “You recall performing this test?”




“Yes.”




“Can you give the court a brief overview for the record?”


“Our lab was supplied a saliva sample taken nine years ago from a crime scene involving a sexual assault. The sample was well preserved. I initially made tests, presumptive tests, for the presence of blood, which is orthotolidine. I utilized hydrogen peroxide as the tests reagents. I conducted testing for acid phosphatase, testing for P30 protein and for amylase, which is an enzyme found in saliva in high concentrations.”



“Go on.” The attorney nodded, as if he understood every- thing she said. He didn’t. Most people didn’t. All they wanted to know was what she would testify to next.



“We were also supplied, by the Shelby County Sheriff’s Office, a saliva sample of the defendant.”



“And you ran these same tests on that sample?”




“I did.”




The lawyer paced slowly in front of the courtroom, paused, then moved beside her. “And you compared the two results?”



“Yes.”



“And what was your conclusion?”



Maddie sat up straighter. “That Mr. Hubble is excluded as a match for the saliva sample.”



The attorney smiled as he faced her. “So, in your expert opinion, Ms. Baxter, the tests you ran on the samples concluded the samples were from a different person, right?”



She nodded, then remembered she was in court. “Yes.”




“Are you positive?”
“Yes. Science doesn’t lie.”




The defense attorney smiled broadly. “Thank you, Ms. Baxter.” He grinned at the judge. “I have no further questions, Your Honor.”



The judge glanced at the opposing table. The prosecutor jumped to his feet. “We have no questions, Your Honor.”



“You may step down.” The judge excused her.



She marched from the witness stand, catching the defendant’s stare as she did. His eyes were dark, lifeless as he stared through her. A chill settled over her as she rushed past him.



The victim had stood in court, faced the man, and testified that Mark Hubble had sexually assaulted her. He’d been found guilty and sentenced to fifteen years. He’d served six already when his appellant lawyer discovered the saliva sample sitting in evidence and the order for DNA testing came through.



Looking at him now, Maddie’s stomach knotted. He gave her the creeps, but DNA didn’t lie. She had run the tests twice and gone over the results multiple times, twice with the head of the crime lab. The samples weren’t from the same person—she was 100 percent positive of that fact. She stood behind the science over eyewitness testimony. How had the victim identified the wrong man?



Within moments, the judge had overturned the conviction and set Mr. Mark Hubble free with the court’s humble apology. Right . . . Maddie could see the defense attorney’s eyes shining with visions of dollar signs as he would prepare a civil suit for wrongful incarceration and try to get rich off sensationalizing this case. The media would grab hold of the details like pit bulls, locking their jaws on the story and not letting loose until the next big one surfaced.



Maddie shoved open the courtroom door and ducked behind the marshal as he held up his hands to ward off the vultures waiting in the hall. Flashes snapped.



She rushed down the hall, trying to ignore the reporters tailing her. Turning, she let the music soothe her as it had for years. “If you’re looking for trouble—”



“Ms. Baxter, is it true Hubble’s DNA wasn’t a match to the saliva sample?” Yes. She kept walking at a fast clip. Daa-da-da- da-da.


“Is it possible your lab contaminated the samples?” No. “You came to the right place.”



Gritting her teeth to stop the retort on the tip of her tongue, Maddie stomped toward the exit. While most of the media stayed behind at the courtroom to hound Mark Hubble, a few industrious reporters dogged her heels.



“Ms. Baxter, a statement, please?”




No way. Daa-da-da-da-da.




“How do you feel about your results freeing a man?”




If only the man didn’t give her the creeps . . . if only she could believe he was innocent.




“What would you say to Mark Hubble’s victim right now?” Maddie stumbled at the last question. How did she feel toward the victim? The woman had to have mistakenly identified Hubble, right? But how would she feel when she heard the news that Hubble was free?



Dear God, please be with that poor woman. Wrap her in Your arms and comfort her in the way only You can.



Maddie regained her footing and broke free out the doors. She paused, gulping in the cool February air. The midday sun shot through the sky but didn’t offer much heat against the breeze. She rushed down the stairs to the street corner, then turned back to the courthouse.



Her sword at her side, the statue of Lady Justice with her blindfold permanently in place stared back at Maddie. The marble she was carved from as cold as Maddie’s heart.

Science didn’t lie.





Present Day, Friday



“Sir, is it possible your daughter might have stayed the night at a friend’s and just overslept today?” Special Agent in Charge Nick Hagar peered into the man’s face, gauging even the slightest nuance for possible deception.



“No, it’s not.” The man’s stance tightened, his Adam’s apple bobbing.



Nick sighed. Missing children were the worst cases—parents distraught, scared, and rightly so, no matter the child’s age. The enormous emotional toll on parents when they didn’t know what happened to their child . . . he knew all too well what that looked like. Memphis kept her secrets—always had, always would.



“Gina is well aware of the immediate consequences if she misses a check-in.” Les Ford’s public expression usually hid well his fifty-nine years. Today, every year weighted the lines of his ebony face. His tensed shoulders seemed out of place against the smooth lines in the formal living room. “Especially in light of that girl last week.”



“I understand that, sir, and I mean no disrespect. I must ask these hard questions to find your daughter. If there’s even a remote chance she’s merely out of touch . . .”



Despite her father’s prominent position, Gina Ford was a college student. One who could’ve stayed at a party and crashed with a friend. Or stayed somewhere she didn’t want her father to know about. Several other reasons she was just out of touch. So far, nothing indicated she’d been taken hostage to manipulate her father or she was a victim of foul play. Nick made brief eye contact with Darren, motioning him over to the couch.



The distraught father ran a trembling hand over the top of his head. The ends of his closely cropped black hair were tipped with white. “I apologize, Agent Hagar.” He let out a long, slow breath. “Call it a gut feeling or father’s intuition, whatever, but my daughter’s in trouble.”



“Okay, let’s back up. I know you’ve already told the police everything, but I’m going to ask you to tell me so I have all the details.” Nick sat forward on the high-back chair, taking in every movement, nuance, and gesture Les Ford made. “This is Agent Timmons, who’ll be taking notes for our investigation.”



Nodding at Darren, Ford flexed, then relaxed his fingers dangling in front of him. “Last night, Gina had study group and didn’t plan to get home until after midnight.”



“Do you know the names of those in her study group?” Darren asked, pen poised over his notebook.



“Rebecca Dragon, Cynthia Mantle, Lisa Trainer, and Rachel Boxer. But Rachel wasn’t feeling well last night so she called to tell them she wouldn’t be able to join them.” Gina’s father shot Darren a look that indicated he knew everything about his daughter’s life. Or thought he did. He turned his piercing black eyes to Nick. “The group usually meets every Thursday evening in the McWherter Library from eight until eleven, then they go out for pizza at Garibaldi’s.”



Darren scribbled while Ford continued. “Last night, Gina returned to her room early. She told me she didn’t feel like pizza and had some stuff to do before her workout in the morning. So she planned on going to bed as soon as we hung up. That was at eleven fifteen last night. I haven’t heard from her since.” His voice cracked.



Nick waited, understanding the father needed a moment to recompose. Nick cleared his throat. “What time did you realize she was out of contact?”



“Ten thirty this morning. She always calls when she arrives at the university’s fitness center, and we walk half an hour on the treadmill together every weekday.”



Nick glanced at his watch—closer to one than noon. The silent ticking of every second falling off the clock skidded down his spine. “And when she didn’t call?”



“I called her cell. It went straight to voice mail. I called her room. No answer. I went to her apartment. She wasn’t there, but I saw evidence that she’d slept there last night.”



“You have a key to your daughter’s place?” Darren asked.



Ford shot him a look full of disdain. “I’m her father. Of course I have a key to her apartment.” He pushed to his feet and dug out a key ring from his front pocket. His hands trembled as he pulled a single key off the ring and passed it to Nick. “Here’s her key. Her car wasn’t there.”



This was feeling less and less like a kidnapping and more and more like . . . what? Nick swallowed the sigh and stood, staring out the expansive window overlooking a private garden. “And your wife? Is it safe to assume she has no idea where your daughter could be?”



“Mrs. Ford hasn’t heard from Gina. Of course, she is extremely upset at the moment. I ordered her to take a sedative to calm her nerves and to lie down for a bit.” He gave a slight shrug. “She had a minor medical procedure performed a few days ago and needs her rest.”



Oh, yeah, Nick understood all right. He’d seen video clips of Jennifer Ford on the news recently, leaving the dermatologist’s office. Rumors floated around that she’d had some lightening done. Without intent, his gaze settled on the framed photos adorning the marble mantle. Jennifer’s skin looked like smooth mocha as she smiled at the camera.



Nick stopped at the photograph of Gina. “May I?” He pointed at the frame and raised a single brow to Ford.



“Certainly.” Ford nodded. “That was taken a few months ago.”



The girl was beautiful, there was no doubt about that. Her skin was even lighter than her mother’s, her chocolate eyes wide, but not as wide as her smile showing off perfectly straight and white teeth. There was a freshness to her face . . . a reflection of genuine passion for life. Nick’s chest tightened at the mere word—passion. How long had it been since he’d felt passionate about much of anything?



He shook off his thoughts and directed his attention to Gina’s father. “Did she mention what stuff she needed to do this morning before her workout?”



Ford shook his head. “I assumed it had to do with schoolwork.”



Nick sat back on the chair. “We’ll get her schedule later. Right now, tell me about Gina. What are her interests? Hobbies? Special people in her life?”



Ford’s eyes glistened as his voice warbled uncharacteristically.



“Gina is kind and loving, a wonderful daughter and person.” He cleared his throat, staring off into space. “She loves the ballet and art. Takes after her mother that way.” A gentle smile was affixed on his face and he swallowed hard. For a moment, Nick forgot who the man was and saw only a scared father.



The Tennessee afternoon sun settled over the garden just on the other side of the wall. Various flowers extended and poised toward the warmth of the rays against the February chill. A gust shoved against stems, swaying them.



“Gina is an excellent student. Takes pride in her work. All of her professors tout how much they enjoy her being in their class.”



Which could just be lip service to an important man, who happens to sit on the University of Memphis’s board.




“She’s active in various community-volunteer positions, mainly through my office. My assistant can give you a list of them.”



Nick nodded. “What about the people she spends the most time with?”




“Gina’s best friend is Cynthia Mantle. They’ve been close since high school. They were on the dance squad together back then.”



They’re also in the same study group. Nick would definitely speak with Ms. Mantle.



Darren tapped against the notebook. “What about a boyfriend?”



The senator frowned. “Gina understands it’s not prudent to become serious with anyone while she’s so young.”



Surely Ford didn’t believe his daughter didn’t date.



“She has, however, begun seeing a young man. A David Tiddle.”



Nick leaned forward again. “I mean no disrespect, sir, but I’m sure you’ve had him checked out, so I’d like to see your report, if I might.”



Ford stared down his nose. “She’s not serious about him. He’s only been to the house a couple of times for dinner.” He shrugged. “Seems like a nice enough young man.”



And Nick would just bet Ford had a nice, fat dossier on Tiddle. “Sir, I’m not judging you or your family, but anything you can provide will help us to find your daughter.”



Ford stood and moved to the desk in the corner of the room. He opened a drawer and withdrew a thin manila envelope he passed to Nick. “That’s all the initial query gathered. I haven’t authorized more digging. Hadn’t planned on it unless Gina felt like the relationship was turning exclusive.”



Nick slipped the file under his arm and stood. “Thank you. One last thing . . . can you think of anyone who would want to harm your daughter?”



“Considering my position? I have many enemies, Agent.” “Anybody in particular recently?”




“Let me get you a list of those on our current threat-watch.”



Interesting they had to keep a current list. Nick paused at the door while Ford returned to the desk. Nick turned to Darren.



“I’m going to question Ms. Mantle. You check out the other members of the study group. And pull Gina’s phone records.”


Darren nodded as Ford returned and passed a piece of paper to Darren.



Nick moved to the hallway and addressed the senator. “Is there anything else you can think of? Even if it’s remote and seems unimportant at the moment?”



Ford’s fear flickered across his face. “Please, find my daughter.”



Chest tightening, Nick nodded. “I’ll do my best, Senator.”
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Friday, March 8, 2013

being honest with myself

I'm going to write about anxiety and fear. Basically because thats what i'm going through right now. So I need to process it.

I've come to the realization that I am letting that control my life and honestly I don't know what to do or how to change it. Its really disconcerting. And I have no idea how I got this way.

I feel like there has to be a middle ground but i'm like one extreme to the other. I feel like with the subject of vainness for instance. I always felt like I was super vain if I thought I looked really good. So I went to the other extreme about saying that I look bad or just not saying anything at all. I don't really know what middle ground looks like with much of anything.

I don't know what I can do or how to fix it. I don't know how to get over the hump and I sure as heck do not know how to trust God with any of it. I've never really read the bible much I don't do bible studies and its just tough. I don't know where to start. And sometimes you can have good intentions but stuff doesn't happen.

So thats what i'm going through right now. I wanted to say more though I cannot remember what I was gonna write. So thats that.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Ugh anxiety.

Do any of you stuffer from it? I am always so paranoid that my car will get stolen or something else will happen like our house getting broken into. And it honestly affects my being able to sleep its kinda bad. Sometimes I’ve been up for hours and hours at night. I just have a lot of fears/anxiety for whatever reason. I'm just not sure what to do about it.

But right now I feel like maybe if the boy and I actually follow through with what we say we will do like reading the bible together or other things that maybe that would help with my craziness? I'm not sure but I’m willing to give it a shot and I hope it does help.

We also need to follow through with working out. I did 100 squats the other day and man my legs were jello and hurt for 3 days. But the boy and I lets be honest we are fat and we need to get the fat away. But the hardest part is getting going and keeping going. But when none of your clothes fit. And you have other issues then its time to do something.

On the upside I noticed today new hair growth which is good cause I’m glad some is coming back! Its just rough being in that position its such a self conscious kind of thing. I hate how thin my hair is and mostly its because of my iron I believe. Its so low still so I hope that all the new supplements I’m taking will help better also to aid in losing weight too.

I'm making good progress in my granny square blanket. Thats awesome. I am also planning another blanket soon. But I’m having issues with deciding how to do things and what yarn to use. So that’s slightly annoying. But its alright. This is such a short entry but I don't have much to say.