Thursday, July 28, 2011

Book Review - Mirror Ball by Matt Redman

Book Description:
Internationally known worship leader and songwriter Matt Redman invites readers to a deeper understanding of what it means to reflect God’s dazzling radiance.

In Mirror Ball, Redman eloquently illustrates why passion is more than a song or a feeling. It’s a story of guts and glory, pain, and purpose. For anyone ready to follow Jesus, passion is a way of life.

Through story, Scripture, and practical inspiration, Redman encourages readers to remember that, however inadequate they may feel to live out this passion, God will work in and through them, just as light radiates through the smallest prism. After all, the same God who said “let there be light” has made His light to shine in their hearts, illuminating their lives and the lives of those around them.

Mirror Ball by Matt Redman I did have high hopes for it. But I just couldn't get into it. It was all over the place and I couldn't focus real well on the book in general. Though I think the cover its such a great one. The book just didn't do a whole lot for me. It was a little difficult to get through it and then there was a sizeable discussion guide. I couldn't exactly discuss it since it was geared towards small groups. It was really disappointing that I couldn't get very far in this book. I anticipated it. Well you can't like every book I guess.

thanks to B&B for the copy of mirror ball for review!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

There are good times and there are bad times.

 And there are times that are in the middle of good and bad. Right now I’m grateful for at least one person that I know reads the blog and comments. Someone I can relate with. And yeah I don't have a lot of friends but I’m okay with that honestly.

The last few days I’ve been researching vitamins. For those who don't know, I have a thyroid issue, vitamin d deficiency and I have iron deficient anemia. I likely had all those things for a long while, and that caused my hair to thin. And I’m trying to get back to not having a balding head cause it freaks me out. But I’ve found out that I need to take more vitamins and hopefully I’ll get that hair back. Also I have dry skin which is a recent thing which I have found that means I need more of something. Hopefully it is one of the things I’m going to be taking. Also I have needed to lose weight. So I’m trying to get on the right track with all of these things. Hopefully I can keep going with it.

There are times when things with the boy and I are bad. But we've had a great few days. While he is at work we usually send messages through gtalk and today and we had this lovely conversation:

The Boy: :)
oh, baby...
i fall more in love with you everyday of my life...
me: awwww
The Boy: :)
i have googly eyes for you
me: sometimes i don't like you.
you totally just made me cry
The Boy:awwwww
me: :)
The Boy: you're so amazing to me. and precious. :)

it did make me cry, I have such a sweet man. I am beyond blessed. He is here for me through everything and when we get a long its the best. Though even if we don't get along we can deal with it. But I feel very blessed with him.

Also today I’ve felt very blah and like a huge failure. Sometimes the way my mom says things about me not having a job, or money or insurance and today talking about retirement. It just makes me feel like such a huge failure and like I can't do anything right. I need to get on the ball but that’s kind of hard when people don't reply to me when I reply to their job listing. Makes it a little difficult. But I really only want to do the nanny thing. I don't really feel like I want to do anything else. And ultimately I want to be a housewife/mom so I don't really need a lot of training for that. But I just kinda wish that point in life would be here already.

I have so much to do but I feel like I get harped on every second so I never get anything done. I need to do reviews and read my books but it seems like that never happens. I just need something great to happen, I need a nanny job so I can read more while its nap time and all of that. And so I have money to save to get along with the next phase of life. But I need to be patient its hard though. All of this is really hard right now. I just feel so hopeless. But again I have an amazing man. This is what he said to me:

The Boy: Awwww. Poor baby...
Wish I could hold you right now :-(
For the record I don't think you're a failure. You're amazing. :-)
You're a natural at what you do it's just tough to find anything but you've been trying.
And you're very resourceful and responsible with your time. I may have a job but I suck with that still.
You do lots during the day.
me: k
The Boy: Mwah. I'm proud of you babe.
me: thanks
The Boy: Mmhmm and it's true and I mean every word :-)
The Boy: but just try and I'm proud of you no matter what so remember that :-)
me: k

love that guy. So for now I guess I’ll just try to calm down and listen to some owl city and gungor. Good times.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Sorry about that last post guys. I am on my period hello emotionalness. But even though those things were mostly true. And I do get frustrated with those things continuously. I still love the boy very much and even if the times lately are rare when we get along and have just the right amount of loveyness. I am grateful for what I do get.

Yesterday we had a good time with each other, we went to a few parades, and out to dinner, It was really nice. Then we topped the night off with a little dose of lego Indiana Jones! Haha we are such dorks. But we love those lego games. Hoping to play it again later. We watched tangled on Friday that was a great movie.

I was thinking about friends in church today. And that has been a reoccurring theme in my head lately. Never been the most of popular people. And I don't seem to relate very well with a lot of people. It always seems like I always had just a few friends at a time, and only a couple close ones. And now I don't really know that number. I find it hard to be in groups of people and I’m never really in anyone’s circle because I’m not a super social person. So I guess that makes it hard. But I’m not completely miserable. I do have the boy and if I didn't have him, I would be lost. He is my absolute best friend. My other “best friends” seem to have forgotten about me anyways. I'm not sure how that happens but if you'd like to throw 13 years of friendship down the toilet? Well I guess I can’t stop you but I can't always be the only one to try. It gets exhausting trying and trying with no one wanting to try back. I put a lot into friendships sometimes only for them to just throw me out in the trash and it just gets so irksome and tiring. But I’ve learned not to do that as much which is good. But at the same time. The ones that you thought you'd never lose since you have been friends for so long. Well I guess they are gone and I’m not sure how to make them talk to me. Heck I got robbed with these people for cripes sake! You'd think that someone wouldn't just ignore you when you have that kind of bond. But it is what it is.

Other than that I’m not sure what to say. Got a few reviews coming up. But other than that I’m not sure. I have a lot of pictures to go through hopefully it won't take so long. I will post links later since I am not putting them up on facebook anymore. I guess that’s about all for now.

Friday, July 22, 2011

its really depressing when you can look around and can't even count the amount of friends you have on one hand. which means there are zero. its depressing when you can't even talk to your best friend at the moment. or even feel like he is your best friend.

when you're all alone and there is no one you can count on, when you have no one to do anything with, well at least i still have my books. but that doesn't take away the pain. especially when you feel like the one you care most about can't bother to actually pay attention to you.

i'm really very blah and annoyed and angry and weepy today. i hate that i don't feel important enough to spend time with. i hate that the boy never gets his homework done and i'm the one stressing about it. i'm the one that doesn't get any time cause hes always on his stupid phone. i'm just really annoyed with everything and anything today.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


The week before last was interesting. On saturday we went to see the pirates landing. We went early but next year we need to go earlier and save a spot. Cause we were down on the beach and then when it happened we were so squished. It was a little overwhelming considering last year I couldn't see anything at all.

Then we went out to the street fair after eating at the mexican restaurant. And after we came home I figured out I was burnt. My head got super burnt and my face got a little burnt. But I did put sunscreen on so I don't quite get that. Then I had a square shaped burn on my chest. I'm thinking that was from my camera.

Not much else is going on, I got a huge splinter up WAY far up my nail it was so horrible, I also cut myself with scissors while cutting the boys hair. And my hands got all cut up. It was not a great week for me accident wise.

Other than that i'm just waiting for my books to come in the mail which never gets old. I have a lot of exciting ones coming. Which will show up on my columns' yay. Well now I have to go write and post some things. And work on pictures. While I wait for the boy. Though I am kinda blahish about things right now. His school starts up this week, and I dunno it feels like there won't be so much time. And even so we don't have a lot of time.

Oh and netflix bugs me with that price increase. That means that the streaming will go away and thats WAY annoying cause I liked that. But I guess we'll just have to go with the dvd thing. Okay really going away now.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Book Review - Secrets of the Heart by Jillian Kent

Secrets of the Heart: The Ravensmoore Chronicles, Book One 

“Madeline Whittington, daughter of the deceased Earl of Richfield, emerges from English society s prescribed period of mourning in the winter of 1817. Madeline believes that she no longer belongs in a world of gossip and gowns after experiencing multiple losses. When she rescues a runaway from Ashcroft Insane Asylum, her life will be forever changed as she discovers the dark secrets within the asylum walls. Because of his elder brother s unexpected death, Devlin Greyson becomes Earl of Ravensmoore and struggles between two worlds: one of affluence and privilege and one of poverty and disease. Torn between his desire to become a doctor and the numerous responsibilities of his title, he wrestles with God s calling for his future. Will he be able to honor this God-given gift and win the woman he falls in love with in a society that does not value gentlemen who work? And will Lady Madeline be able to honor her father s memory when she is attracted to the man she holds responsible for her father s death? “

I really tried to like this book but for whatever reason I just couldn't get into it at all. The cover for one thing is VERY distracting. It would be better if there was a real person modeling on the cover. I'm sure most people would get into this book but for me it just wasn't happening. I really only got 20 pages in before I had to stop. It was just too slow for me.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Whew I don't really know what to say.

Things are somewhat okay.

Found out that my netbook which I thought was gone forever is under warranty. I almost couldn't believe it! So thats one good thing. It did this weird black screen with type thing and I don't know what it said but then we tried to fix it and then it didn't work. So it just didn't turn on and it made me really sad. But hopefully it will be fixed soon.

Last night the boy and I went in search of fireworks we found some and we just sat with each other. It felt good to just be with him, especially since we've been pretty rawrish with each other lately. I hate when it happens but the good times outweigh the bad for sure.

Fun things are coming up around seattle so i'm excited about it. And i'm REALLY excited about the books that will be coming soon to me. So keep an eye out for those on my examiner column!

I need to get back on the losing weight train, my period kinda wiped me out but i'm done with that.

Still super far behind in reading but hopefully i'll pick it up soon.

Other than that nothing much is going on. I need to work on my pictures, get them all up on flickr but for now I will just go paint my toenails!