its really depressing when you can look around and can't even count the amount of friends you have on one hand. which means there are zero. its depressing when you can't even talk to your best friend at the moment. or even feel like he is your best friend.
when you're all alone and there is no one you can count on, when you have no one to do anything with, well at least i still have my books. but that doesn't take away the pain. especially when you feel like the one you care most about can't bother to actually pay attention to you.
i'm really very blah and annoyed and angry and weepy today. i hate that i don't feel important enough to spend time with. i hate that the boy never gets his homework done and i'm the one stressing about it. i'm the one that doesn't get any time cause hes always on his stupid phone. i'm just really annoyed with everything and anything today.
I only have one friend. Not even a close friend at that! And she's my cousin, so I don't even know if she counts as a friend. I've never had "besties". I see tv shows and other girls walking around in their pack and I feel so...left out? Sometimes I wish I did have at least one friend I could pour my heart out to, completely, and not be judged only loved and supported. I've actually recently struggled with my husband. He's gone at least 12 hours a day, if we're lucky we spend about 2 hours a day together then he falls asleep. Then on the weekends it just feels like all he does is sleep. For my husband and I time is something we have to have together, if we don't get it we're mean to each other. Life just gets busy, it'll pass and get better, but I know it sucks while it's happening. Sorry this is sooo long. I'll be praying things get better for you, and you have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you feel this way. I don't know how to make you not feel that way either. I am home a lot and don't get to spend that much time with friends, but when I see my best friends I know we are super close and they email me on a regular basis. The hard part is that only two of my closest friends live nearby, while my very very close friends all live nearly 3 to 8 hours away so it is harder to see them. I have a lot of best friends though. I can count them all on a little more than one hand. I don't really have many friends, just my close 6 or so best friends (one being my husband). I found the more you give a shoulder for their emotions, the closer they feel to you. . .and the easier it will be for me to lean on them if I am ever going through something hard. We pray a lot for each other. It makes us feel closer I think. Make sure you do this with your friends!
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