Wow what week it has been. Sometimes hard especially while taking care of the 4 kids and my friend but its been fine.

This week we went on a lot of outings, to doctors appointments and the coop. It was pretty weird to go to children hospital for one of the kids appointments. See back when I was little my brother had cancer and we were at the hospital quite a bit. And I didn't really exactly anticipate it being as emotional to be there was it was. It really kinda shocked me. But it just took me back to remembering all of it and where we used to go in the hospital and the cafeteria looked exactly the same as I knew it to be. It was good and bad. I just I dunno it really was emotional. Especially when I saw a little girl who had cancer and she was so tiny and bald and a little bit swollen with a feeding tube in her nose. Was just so heart wrenching. I dunno it was strange and I even want to tear up again even thinking about it.

Anyways other things that have gone on this week are watching kids. I also got seeds for my garden and I’m SO excited about it. I cannot wait to plant them. I just have to figure out logistics of what to plant where. And I also will be helping my friend do a garden too! Its exciting. Tonight the boy and I watched the 4 kids while our friends went out. It was so crazy and loud and we finally got them to bed so we are watching Wallace and gromit on netflix. Cute. Hopefully I will have some reviews written tomorrow and I am excited for things that will be coming up in the next few weeks. I really want to go thrifting for books but that time will come soon.

I dunno im really grumpy and I’m really sick of everything right now.

Last week went pretty okay, mostly I just helped my friend a little with dishes and corralling the kids and then we either talked or watched TV. It was pretty low key I’m sure that this week will be more stuff to be done. But I was fine with that.

Church is really getting under my skin I’m SO annoyed with everything. Things with the boy and I are kinda off too. I just don't even know what to say but I honestly feel like not serving at all right now. I'm sick of it changing every five seconds I’m sick of not being listened to or talked to like I’m a kid. I'm sick of them trying to guilt you into serving or for being late. If I cared if I was late I would change it. But honestly I don't care all that much. I don’t want to go to a training meeting for teaching. I don't teach it makes no difference for me. I don't want to serve midweek so I’m not going to I’ve done enough in the 6 years that I have served you can't guilt me into doing more than I already do its not happening. So stop pissing me off!

I'm so on edge every time I’m here I love the kids a lot but I dunno if its worth it right now. I've done this for over 12 weeks straight and I doubt they will give me a break either. Even though I agreed to do it every week on the condition I would get a break. Some of these people are so condescending and I’m so sick of it.

I'm sick of my friends hurting I’m sick of my idiotic extended family and I’m just tired of it all.

I get that this is only a rant but I have nothing great to say at this moment. I'm mostly just pissed. And that is how it is.

a little bit of everything.

I don't know how I used to write consistently. Now its like monthly. There is just so much going on that I don't know where to start.

The boy and I have had some good times but we are still working through issues in our relationship. But it will be all good i'm glad we are working on those issues now and not when we are already married and it gets messier.

I have to say I love goodwill, see we are both into reading haha if you saw all my books you'd know that. Though most of them are review books. So we love books and I also happen to love good deals. That is where goodwill comes in. we have a lot of books on a wish list on amazon and we gradually go through it with our free swagbucks money and other various free sites where we earn money towards giftcards. But we keep the list handy when we go to goodwill. This particular location we have been to twice and both times we found great books. Every time we go to goodwill we look for scrabble board games to make ornaments with and books. This one has a HUGE selection of books. And boy we found a whole lot of good stuff. The best part is no matter if it was hardback, paperback or small paperback we only got charged the the small paperback price. I'm not sure if it was a sale or if they just do that now. But it was a steal! We got like 5 cs lewis books for 99 cents a piece! We also found some good deals in the clearance section at half price books. But now I have the itch to go to goodwills. So I looked up a few more and saw that ballard and shoreline have ones that look huge. So i'm excited to look.

Also exciting that my cousins little boy is gonna come hangout probably all day on saturday. Wheee I love that munchkin.

Church is going alright I guess. I have frustrations with that but I don't even know where to begin.

I'm WAY excited to start my garden. I am planning what i'm gonna grow this year and its just very very exciting. I went to weed though today and it didn't work so well i'll have to turn over my soil. But i'm looking at seeds.

I also love pinterest, I have SO many craft ideas and recipes i'm excited to try. I can't wait to make these things. Ugh I just want more time to do it constantly.

On thursday I start helping a friend with her 4 kids she had surgery last week. So that should be fun/crazy

thats all I can think of for now. Until later!

You're Already Amazing Book Review

“You're already amazing.” That’s a tough phrase to grasp, let alone fully believe. Women have great social pressures put on them to be perfect in body and attitude. And with all those expectations, we as women are carrying burdens that we weren't meant to carry at all and we suppress dreams that we thought we were meant to live.

Holley Gerth is a popular blogger and co-founder of (in)courage, an organization whose goal is to amplify the message that women don't need to do more and be more: they can just be, because they are already amazing the way God created them.

Sometimes non-fiction books tend to be a little bit on the boring side. I was preparing for that when starting to read this one, only to be blown away by how true and real it was. This was very deep and totally applied to certain points that I am at in my own life right now. Holley speaks of the book as a heart-to-heart talk over coffee, and though I don't personally drink coffee, that is exactly how it felt. No matter what point you are at in life you need to hear that you are amazing, and know that you aren't alone in life. Also, in this day where everyone is so focused on perfection in every aspect of life, the words in this book can really help. You don't have to be perfect, just be the way God has made you. And sometimes that is a struggle but you it can be overcome.

This book is also pretty much made for a small group discussion setting like the Bloom (in)courage Book Club (at incourage.me), but also in-person studies as well. Though that doesn't mean you shouldn't just read it by yourself, too. It's interactive and engaging and definitely a great addition for your book shelf. It would be one of those great books to keep going back through over and over at different stages of life. Please check it out!

A portion of the author's proceeds will be donated to the Compassion International Leadership Development Program (www.compassion.com)

Thank you to revell publishing and incourage for providing this copy to me to review. all these thoughts are my own. You're Already Amazing is out now!