i just feel numb..

I don't talk a lot and i'm just alone most of the time. I'm sad and discouraged and thats just how it is. Im beaten down a lot it seems. A lot has been going on a lot of it is bad. Some is good but sometimes its hard to see that through the bad stuff. I'm not reading books fast enough, I’m just not good enough period. Thats how I feel. I feel like a complete failure in most aspects of my life. I start with good intentions but in the end its never good enough. I wanted to start to read the bible, i've never really done it, I grew up in church but honestly i've never really read chapters upon chapters and I probably haven't even read 1/8 of the bible. So the boy and I started a group on facebook. But now i'm way too intimidated by it and don't want to do it anymore. We haven't even gotten it off the ground. I just have nothing to say I don't have very many opinions. Everyone else knows way more tehn I do and what do I have to bring to the table? Nothing. I don't have friends if I talk to people its two or three people but honestly I haven't really talked to them in weeks and one of them I haven't talked to in months. I dunno I feel like a lost cause. And while this is all happening my blog is empty but it doesn't really matter. Not much does anymore. At least thats how i feel.