Wednesday, February 4, 2009

rantrant and some rawrness

i'm pretty mad and frustrated and you name it i have it. what you ask. well you didn't really but this is my blog and i'm saying things if i want to.

well my birthday is coming up and to tell you the truth i'm not too happy about it. if you asked me i would skip it in a heartbeat. i know some people are super excited about their birthdays. thats not me. because mine usually suck and result in me crying and being depressed on a day that is supposed to be happy. well it just makes me sad thinking about my birthday cause i know it won't be a joyus happy day. i won't get presents i mean i guess i dont' normally get presents anytime so its not anytime different. no one will remember it or call and no one will want to do anything.

i want to feel appreciated and i don't. i feel like it doesn't matter. does it even matter that i'm around? i mean no one really says anything. i feel jipped because i do so much for others and i never get anything back. i'm not a selfish person but seriously on my birthday? shouldn't i get things? i should be at least appreciated and loved but i don't even get that. i'm not trying to be selfish or mememe. but crap i just want to be loved and appreciated on my birthday. gifts welcome hugs and all such things. but its too much to ask for. i can't even get one ounce of anything for all that i do for people.

i always showered people with gifts and love and every time i'd get money for christmas or my birthday i'd ALWAYS spend it on other people and not me. its just sad that no one thinks to do anything for me. and that my friends is why i would like to skip it. i'll just end up crying anyways.


in other news i'm kind of sick of being blown off. i'm a person too i have feelings i do want to do things but i dn't because why even bother? i mean i try to get people to do things with me but in the end i'm a boring person and no one would want to hang out with me. (i know this is a stupid blah post but its mine so deal)

i just get sick of trying.

in other news hormones are fun. but that isn't why i'm writing this i've felt this way for a long time.

thats all for now i guess.

6 comments:

pliggot said...

I Love You Amy and you bring so much good to others. Know that daily and enjoy this upcoming year of life. Embrace new things and live life awake and adventurously. You can, and you have the support of so many. (if you get two messages from me it's blogger's fault, but you deserve two anyway:))

Alicia said...

I kinda know how you feel about the birthday thing. I'd rather just skip mine, no event no fuss and then suddenly I'm a year older. No such luck, though. We're stuck with birthdays... blah. I was planning on trying to send you something. Money is kinda tight right now, but the thought is there and I'm a gonna work on it! I was thinking (cheesy idea) of getting a sweatshirt and hugging it tons then sending it to you so you could have the hugs!

Alicia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alicia said...
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Victoria T. said...

being pushed aside is the story of my life. you have no more chance of that even when you have kids. you sadly may have to adjust. people will not get over their selfishness.

Alicia said...

OK - I deleted the double and triple posts! LOL!!

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