happy new year?

is it?? i'm not sure yet. but then again its not the new year here as of yet. i would write about things that happened this year like everyone else but i haven't given that much thought as of yet. right now i will tell you what has happened today.

my mom decided when she got home from work that she wanted to de-christmas the house. so we undecorated the tree and the windows and stuff. well she wanted to take the tree out and she can't do it herself so she roped me into doing it which resulted in lots of things gone wrong and it not working right. which is hilarious in itself and then we started kinda screaming at each other. hilarious again. but then when we finally got it out of the tree stand..... well we were trying to get it out of the door and part of it got stuck so i screamed a bit. then we finally got it outside but i thought we were gonna set it down in the yard but she didn't have that same idea. and so we had to go out of the fence. but part of it got stuck and she kept going so i screamed and then it was loud so like the neighborhood could hear hahah. and there was a person walking down the road and they laughed at us which i thought was funny. it was like mom kept going and the tree didn't and she tried to pull my arm off haha. so after that happened my mom went to get the broom. i was walking past her but she stuck her butt out in the way and whammed me then we laughed and i was like "what the crap are you trying to do to me?" then she was sweeping the carpet which actually worked better than i thought. i was pretty amused.

then we all became super irritated for no apparent reason. but thats where we are right now i'll think of another entry for later. maybe tomorrow. who knows when inspiration may strike


*EDIT*

i have also been made aware of a broken blood vessel in my eye. haha bff asked what was wrong with my eye but i didn't know what he was talking about cause i obviously can't see it haha. then mom gasped when i went to ask her a question then i finally saw it after some maneuvering. hahha its kinda gross but i wish it was a bigger section cause i'm weird like that. i should get a picture of it.

" Skitch. How did we get here?" "I led you here, sir, for I am Spartacus."

sometimes i just wonder how i got here? how did i get so alienated by some people that i don't have them as friends anymore. i have this one "friend" who owes me money she has for over a year. sunday i asked if i could get my money anytime soon she says yeah come to church tonight i say well i don't have a way to get there duh cause cars and lisences don't grow on trees. she says nothing even later when i ask her why i have to go to church to get the money she owes me? i mean i have a church i went to it. i don't think i have to go to a different one to get what is owed to me. it just frustrates me a lot.

i also don't know how my friends became not my friends. its just baffling to me.

another situation i cannot talk about its super baffling to me. oh bother haha.


in other news my dads surgery went well. christmas was interesting.


my bff is pretty amazing. but at the same time i just wonder how i got here. i'm frustrated with church i just don't want to do the schedule anymore cause its just causing grief. i need to get my license i just need to take the test but ugh i dunno i need to practice more but maybe i don't maybe i'm ready who knows really. i need a job so i don't feel like such a failure at life but i already do cause i can't get a job but i haven't tried in awhile. but even so.

i also need to go tot he doctor to get myself checked out. and i need to lose weight ugh oh bother. my head hurts just thinking about it. but i'm thankful that i have my bff cause if i didn't i'd be in sorry sorry shape. and i know i sound super blah and rawrish right now but really i have been a lot happier which is sorta scary at the same time. a lot of things scare me but just gotta roll with it i suppose.

i want to go on an adventure. i'm not sure how i can get to that point of adventureness but i want it.

i will just read my fifty million books. ugh. haha i love books but this one is so long and i need to read three other ones from the library and then read the ones i'm supposed to review. i shall get on that then. until next time.

i'm just not really sure what to think or feel at this point.

oh hello blog...

yes my lovely little blog here has been super neglected. but its been incredibly crazy around here so that is why.

so when i last wrote i said something about having a bad sinking feeling in my stomach. well when that was happening my bff had gone to visit some girl. who knew i'd have such an effect on myself with that. but it was my intuition kicking up i knew it was bad right when he said he was going to see her. i just knew and i had said "uh oh" but thats just what came out of my mouth but i never knew until at all happened. so that all lead to him going down there doing things he has regrets for and he hadn't talked to me for a week then and he didn't see me for 2 weeks. basically my sleep was disrupted my appetite, my bowels even it was just such a severe affect. i couldn't even comprehend it. and the girl hated me which is so funny but i could tell by her facebook picture the look in her eyes i just got a super queasy feeling about the whole thing i knew it was bad. and my friend anna knew too. it was just such a baffling situation. he even wasn't himself anymore he said horrible and mean things to me which crushed me i can't even express how much that killed. but that was over the day before thanksgiving. thank goodness i don't think i could have handled it if that situation had lasted much longer.

things with the bff are great though i LOVE having him here i honestly can't even remember what it was like to not have him here in seattle. its so weird. we're so attached to each other its cute. i love him. aww but seriously it is kinda weird still for me to actually have a friend around. and especially one i trust so much. but its good i'm getting used to it and true i have a lot of faults still but hes slowly helping me work through them.

thanksgiving was kind of a nightmare. my extended family ugh. but i had a glorious reunion with bff. it was amazing. but thanksgiving sucko. ugh. i just really don't enjoy them. and there were so many people in the house that there was no room for me or bff anywhere. so we hung out in my room. but we didn't get told when dinner was ready or when it was dessert time. it was just a huge bummer. but my cousin heidis kid marcell is super cute. he gave justin a hug when he was leaving. he hadn't even known justin it was so stinkin cute. loved it. that sunday we went to the childrens museum for marcells 3rd birthday party it was fun i wish we could have stayed longer at the museum but we had to get out really quick.

after that mom and i got sick (i'm still sick now i keep getting it and getting rid of it and getting it again. ) but then there was the stuff with my dad. he had a catheter put in to help his uti problem. long story short he has to have surgery on tuesday.

lets see what else childrens ministry stuff well thats always going on but i had been service lead and i don't want to be but that will change i was so stoked i got told i can be in a room again. really its so heartbreaking when you go to do the child counts and they ask if you can come in the room and play with them. and you can't ugh rip my heart out seriously. but i get to soon. i would have this coming sunday but i had scheduled myself off that sunday. its a bummer but its good cause i'm sick anyway.

christmas is soon and i've been all bah humbug but i think it will be good. my parents gave me some money to buy presents for the family. so thats good. and i have some other things up my sleeve. hehe i'm kinda excited about it. i'll have to plan the christmas dinner cause we won't be going to the extended family thing since dad has his surgery on the 22nd. which is a blessing and a bother. cause honestly id idn't want to go see the family anyways. hah. what can ya do.


i'm gonna try to blog more regularly now. i'm stoked about the new bloom book and i just love bloom anyway cause that is a great community. i have a lot of books to read but i also have to go work on christmas presents. i will blog more later hopefully!