today is kinda gloomy i don't feel so amazing but thats okay. now i will ramble about my thoughts on weddings and engagements.
i watch some wedding shows like say yes to the dress and i've seen that one show with the guys that have a wedding venue i don't remember what its called. but anyway it baffles me sometimes cause this one dress i saw was 17,000 dollars. like seriously? it makes me crazy to think that people could spend that on a dress. personally i probably wouldn't even spend 200 dollars on a dress. so that makes me think of weddings. for one i do not like crazy blinged out rings. give me something silver and simple and cheap and i'm good well as long as it doesn't turn my finger green i'm good. and sometimes just the thought of a traditional wedding makes me sad. cause its like you're doing what everyone else is and for what? its your day. personally i wouldn't want to do it in a church i don't think. and i don't want to do the whole cake thing and the dancing thing either. i don't want to stand there for show and feed my husband to be cake i mean that could be private. and i dunno i just say have cake and be done. i love cake i just don't want to stand there and be the show. i don't dance so i don't care much for the whole dancing part of a wedding. personally i would just want something simple and then have a bbq potluck type of thing for my "reception"
then i was thinking about engagements. all about the story and the show and people bragging about how he proposed and whatever. i am not a super girly mushy person so this whole thing doesn't appeal to me much. it may be because i'm not mushy but i mean what is really the point of the whole "story" of a proposal? i mean i guess in theory i can understand but i dunno i'm not really one to gush or cry about it or want to tell everyone and their mothers my story. sometimes i feel like thats a private thing a private decision and the show that it is put on it seems not all that worth it to me. thats just me and my silly opinions though.
labels they bug me i mean i love the label of marriage and such. but its so annoying sometimes at how focused people are on the label of "in a relationship" i mean i guess its nice but i don't want to flaunt anything around again its totally for show and honestly sometimes it makes people feel like crap. but the whole label sometimes can't even express how things are at that moment. sometimes feelings are more than a label. they are what they are and it comes when it comes through God no matter what. but i dunno i guess lately i've been thinking about all of this a lot and i just don't want to be labeled i am what i am and my feelings/relationships are what they are. you can't even nessicarily say that with a label of some sort.
its not that i'm some morbid person that hates love i guess to me love is sorta private and putting it on a pedestal and using it for a show kind of bugs me. those are my 2 cents about it.