oh christmas eve

Wow almost Christmas eve. Its such a weird time right now. Everything seems to be so wacked out. But at moments I wouldn't change it for the world honestly. Even if its all in disarray. Christmas eve will be weird. I haven't gone to the family get together in 2 years now. And its a whole lot less drama for me. Last year it was cause dad had surgery on the 23rd. So we weren't gonna go anywhere at all. That was the first Christmas that the boy spent with us too. This year I am not going by choice. I feel like I shouldn't have to deal with the drama. Its so silly. I almost can't stand it its so silly. I am going to go to church for the first time ever on Christmas eve. I'm so stinkin excited about it. I get to watch my kids at church sing. Its gonna be sooooo cute I cannot wait. Plus I get to spend the time with the boy. Christmas is our 1 year anniversary. That was the time we realized that we had feelings about each other. Its so weird to think about. I mean we have been together for so long. But really I think we were together the instant he moved up here last October. Its just so weird a good weird.

Some of his family is pretty enjoyable. At least through email. Cause obviously I don't know much about otherwise. Its such a blessing. I have been blessed in general. Just this week. I normally watch each of the girls twice a week. This week it was only once per girl. And both parents gave me a card and a gift card for 25 dollars. Its so not even necessary but I am so grateful for it. It is such a nice thing. I'm not used to that happening at all. My first instinct is to just go out and get something for them real quick. But they don't do it to get something in return. And I know that. But I’m just not used to getting presents at all. And its so disorienting when it does happen. I'm such a huge weirdo.

Well my car hasn't gotten broken into again yet. I think its happened twice or three times. I can't tell. But either way its annoying. There isn't anything but garbage in there. And clothes and feminine products in the trunk haha. I am prepared what can I say? Actually i'm not sure if my ice scraper is gone. I don't remember. Might have to check that out later.

I'm trying to write a lot of my reviews so I can just save and post later. Which is working. But then I haven't posted anything for my examiner page. Which is somewhat annoying. But I keep forgetting. I've also been trying to finish up these things i'm making for people. I'm half through my list. Plus I need to fix justins scarf. Which probably will just be redone totally cause I don't know how to fix it. Oh well it won't take that long. I've also got my huge pile of books to read which I haven't been doing either. Oh bother. I'm kinda behind on anything and everything I guess. Oh well what can you do right? Life kinda got away from me.

I am so grateful for the boy too. Living without him would be hard. I am not a huge sappy person but he gets that and doesn't get upset that I am not sappy. I do love him a lot. Its amazing at how much you could love someone. I just want him to get a job asap but I guess it'll happen when it happens. I am a worrier. Which is annoying but it is what it is. I need to trust more but trust is a hard thing. It is for everyone.

Things are looking up and that’s what I have to focus on.