meh

well blog is just you and me right now. and honestly thats pretty sad. yesterday was pretty crappy a sort of fight with the boy i'm sick of it happening but i guess its just something that does. i think we understand each other better now but still. i'm mentally exhausted from it.

there was talk about going to see his family but i dunno i just don't know on one hand that is really scary but its important to him. but i dunno this week has sorta sucked. i kinda lost one of my nanny jobs. because they decided to put her into preschool. *sigh* i dunno i'm just so stressed about money with both boys money and mine. its annoying.

i feel super alone right now. i had some very disturbing dreams and then i wake up and there is no one to talk to. which kinda is the story of my life. but sometimes i wish it would be different. i wish that a lot but it probably will never happen.

i guess i'll just have to go get lost in a book. which is what i like to do it at least helps me i guess it never solves any problems though.

i am sitting here skipping church watching the football game but i still feel super alone. the dog has to have surgery on Tuesday. i guess i'm just beaten down right now. i'm sick of transition periods. they seem to be happening far too often. i wanted this to be the year of change but not the year of transition. i don't like transitions. change i wanted for the boy and i to change and get closer and for him to get a job and all sorts of stuff.

man these people at this game sure look scary. i dunno why people paint their faces. its weird and i don't think i like it. i guess i'm just at a low point right now. i don't know what to do about it either. i feel like i have no where to. an obviously no one to talk to except this trusty blog of mine that i have neglected. good times good sunday... i guess thats all for now.