Sunday, January 23, 2011

sometimes i just don't know what to think. which is probably good cause i could have some really mean thoughts. i have so much going on, but at the same time its so little. i guess compared to other people i have it pretty good. but that doesn't mean its totally good for me.

i'm tired of some people who are so dramatic like they need it in their lives to function. thats CRAZY. i'm gonna be sorta all over the place with this. thats just cause its how life is right now. its super crazy and i almost can't keep up.

one thing i am grateful for, is that when the boy and i fight in all reality it isn't that bad. we don't have super bad fights. we still can say i love you even if we're super frustrated. so for that i feel really blessed. it is not normal to have what we have. most people never get to that point of friendship as us. its such a great thing to be in a relationship with my very best friend. in the end the fights are meaningless and they will pass. which is good. its just a time of transition.

and to be honest i'm not fond of transition at all haha. i'm so sick of it. its part of life i know but its like a constant thing lately. there isn't even any time to get used to the last thing before another thing comes along. it will all get better.

i am just hoping i will get another nanny job soon. or figure out what i'm doing.

thankfully i have gotten a lot of books for review so i'm excited about that. i just need something to work right soon.

another kinda scary thing is. i am indeed flying to PA in march to visit with the boys family. his parents (who i've already seen/met), his brother, aunts and their families. it should be interesting. we have a late flight and i don't know i'm kinda nervous but i really don't like planes either. haha. but i'm such a quiet person in general. i don't know its just gonna be crazy. i've been looking up the TSAs rules for things to put in carry-ons. its so crazy. i'm only looking up this stuff cause i'm a last minute packer. i uh have been known to pack 2 hours before leaving.... if that. so i had to make lists now and look up this stuff. even though this is in march. hahaha i'm so crazy.

speaking of family. i just don't know why my extended family is so hung up on all things possession wise. its so annoying. its just so sad to me because its not how i am. but its how my grandma is. and its like a status symbol. i don't understand it. i also don't understand why everything to her is about dogs and possessions. oh and my cousin who holds the family name. its like no one else matters. it just really bugs me. but i guess there isn't anything i can do. its all i've ever known. its probably all i will ever know.

things will look up.  i gotta go and write some reviews now. til later friends!


  1. Flying isn't terrible, but the TSA is a pain. As long as you give the lists of banned things a once-over and keep it in mind while you pack, you should be fine. The worst of it is the delay of the checkpoint and the distinct possibility of getting felt up by some butch security guard.