Sorry its been so long. The day after
the boy and I started to talk its been rough but we are working on
things and have a plan to work on how to be closer/doing things. And
talking more. Its tough but we are making it work. Though now we have
to go on free dates. If we can think of anything to do cause he has
no job and we have no money. So that’s tough too.
But its alright. Hopefully he gets a
job soon he has an interview on Thursday. We are hopeful about it.
I'm drained but I finally have a few things going on as far as
reviews go. I was in limbo with some things but those are finally
done and finished and now I get started on writing I’m excited
about it.
I'm also pretty blah and bummed. I am
sitting thinking “wow I have no friends” its just weird to think
about there are plenty of people we sometimes get together with but
no one initiates and I don't want to work so hard to have people pay
attention when they won't anyways. Its like there are people we were
in bible study with for 2 years and two of them are getting married
now and we aren't invited. Its kinda stupid but its whatever. I am
just super blah bout things. I'm tired I have a headache and I just
don't have anyone but Justin I guess we have ourselves and that is
good. Especially when we have to work on our relationship to be
closer and get back to where we were before. But at the same time its
lonely. But maybe thats cause the boy and I don't do much together.
Or anything. Its like we have two separate lives and nothing brings
it together but we are changing that. We are gonna start to read
books together first up is “the Screwtape Letters” by C.S.
Lewis. I haven't really read anything of his aside from the Narnia
books. But I also haven't really read any theology and who am I
kidding I really haven't ever read through the bible. I've read
certain verses/passages but never the whole thing. Honestly all the
religious/bible/theology stuff is really lost on me. I don't know
where to start, I don't know what I think about any of it and I don't
even know what my opinions are. Not growing up with a theology driven
house (I grew up in a Christian household just didn't talk much about
theology or anything like that) wasn't necessarily a bad thing. But
most of the time I have no idea what the boy is saying when he talks
about that. And I don't know what to think. All I know is I don’t'
want to be like his parents (they are straight up crazy!) haha that’s
why I’m hesitant to read or have opinions on any of it. Irrational
I know but that’s just how my mind works. So I guess we're gonna
work on me getting into that stuff and maybe doing devotions. I have
some review devotionals. So we'll see. I'm indifferent I guess and
that’s probably a horrible thing haha. I dunno.
In other news my garden is starting to
produce I’m excited! But I already have plans for next year. I
don't know what else I have to say. So that’s about it.
