forget the past..

old friends are an interesting thing.

sometimes when i think of the past it makes me happy and sad. happy cause i had good times and sad cause i'm not friends with any of those people anymore. some of them have come up and wanted to be friends with me again but then i think about it and i don't want to.

only because i'm not that same person anymore i've grown and changed and they will think i'm that same person still. but i'm so far from that person it isn't even funny. it is kind of sad to realize though that your "best friend" you had for 8 years wasn't really all that amazing i mean sure the times were good but when you think long and hard about it. you really weren't that close to that person at all.


i'm so grateful for the best friends i have now cause i've kept them for so long and i truley can tell them anything and its just amazing.

awhile back i went on a walk to clear my head from things that were plaguing me at the time. an i walked down a street that was a block ahead of the church i used to go to. my former youth group church, i went there for a long time til the church split. so like 5 years? there was this big open field in the back of the church and that was where i was looking at the church at. i saw the old church van and i just stood there for awhile. and i stared at the van, at the staircase to the youth room. it was so weird like looking back on my life sort of. it was almost too much to handle. i went through so much there and it was just so weird to look back at it.

also its sort of like i've abandoned people but really i've just moved on. i've done the same with blogs this one was starting fresh from where my previous one left off. there was too much drama, too much hurt and too many memories in my previous blog i just had to start fresh and i feel like i'm better for it.