Saturday, October 9, 2010

will the madness ever end?

sitting here just listening to the rain outside. i have my window open and its peaceful. horse feathers playing and rain. good times.

i am not quite sure what to think or feel right now. yesterday my grandma was trying to stir the pot and i don't know why. she needs to just stop talking and stop being nasty to her own flesh and blood. and i feel so done. i don't know why you have to act like that. it is not called for. there was some drama with the estate sale. for one there were lots of storage sheds there which i had no idea about. but the estate people got the go ahead to go through them cause there was junk in them. but my aunt knew there was stuff in there and didn't say anything. and there were pictures in there and now they are most likely gone. even if they are family pictures its just gone and its so frustrating.

its so baffling that people can be like that. grandmas motto right now is "i didn't know" she says that about every situation lately and she DOES know. she is trying to look like the innocent one. and also says thats what my aunt gets for being and honest person. if she was honest she would have said something beforehand about what was in that shed. but she wanted it for herself. and now its all gone. its almost so numbing to think about this. cause i wish i didn't have to, i wish we didn't have to talk about it, or see them at all. i'm so done with all of this mess. and these people i'm done i can't do it much longer. these are sides to these people that i wish i never would have seen. its so heart breaking. but this family is divided even worse than before and i don't think we can recover from it. i don't know what to say. my cousin is coming over tomorrow and we'll see what she has to say about it all. its just really sad.

but at the same time i guess it shows how people really are. at least we don't have to go on thinking someone is one way and knowing they are another. at least we know all of it now.

that is until someone else says something we don't know.. i dunno if this will ever end. but i hope it does. its much more peaceful when we don't have people calling every five seconds.

i've had a very busy last few weeks so today i just caught up on a lot of greys anatomy and thought of all the craft projects i am doing. i worked on my blanket some. and i have  alot of hats i need to make for people. so that will be fun. its almost like therapy. crocheting = love. thats all i have for now.

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