i like the second one better! haha.

Book Review - Plain Pursuit by Beth Wiseman

Now when I chose this book for review I wasn't quite sure about it. I did a little research and found that there was a book ahead of this one in a series so of course I had to read that one too. It was SO amazing I couldn't wait to read the next one. It is about an Amish family and its great.

I had never read any Beth Wiseman before but I can totally say i'm a fan. This book is about an Amish family the character Lillian hadn't been Amish all her life but had gone to stay with her grandparents and became Amish herself in the first book. In this book Lillian's friend Carley comes to stay just for a vacation but it became so much more than she bargained for, it changed her life completely.

These books are so amazing such a quick read cause you get sucked in so easily! I won't give too much away because well whats the point of that. But I will just say its hard to put down. And why would you want to? I sure didn't.

if you would like to check it out here is a link

i was not compensated in any way for this book i received this as part of the booksneeze program

lots to cover

i need prayer for clarity on a subject. God knows what it is i don't really feel like giving details.

since i last blogged i've gone to the doctor found out i was anemic, vitamin d deficient and i have a slight thyroid problem. i've also been told i need to exercise which i already knew. but i think since taking the suppliments and vitamins i've been taking i feel like my stomach has gotten  smaller. but i guess we'll see about that i need to work out tomorrow for sure.

things are good though i think. i'm just baffled about some situations but its not a bad baffle its a good baffle.

i've lost track of what else i want to say but i realize my birthday is in 2 weeks and thats so weird i dunno what to think about it i'm just kinda blah about it. ah well. what can ya do.

so yesterday i had a doctor appointment and i got blood drawn to run tests and i wasn't pleased about any of it but it has to be done i suppose. maybe i'll get hair back fromt his cause i've been having thinning hair and what not. and i have to lose weight for serious doctor said.

but anyway so i went to bed i think i was super anxious and it doesn't surprise me but then i had super crazy dreams. and a super tossy turny kind of sleep night.

but then the dreams okay so one i had with my ex best friend and her family in it i dunno in one part they werep ainting but her mom was sick and puked in teh bathroom and i was gonna shower but she barged in to puke. then somehow the shower was outside and it was some weird kind of out house thing and all i wanted to do was go to church and get out of that house cause it was so weird her being there.

and the other part of the dream was i was at a church and my cousins wife and baby were there and he was apparently missing so i took the baby and was holding her then some guy came and asked if the reward for it was true. and then he said he was face down in the water or something and my cousin was like well i guess he didn't know how to use his boat and she went off to go see for serious. and then i went up to try to get the baby down for a nap. but i had to go find her diaper bag and then jon gosselin was up there with some kids and was asking what was going on and i thought WTF?! then a little after i woke up.

Book Review - From Peanuts to the Pressbox: Insider Sports Stories from a Life Behind the Mic by Eli Gold

When I read the discription on this book I wasn't sure about it mostly cause I honestly thought it might be boring. But I was wrong I mean its not the most entertaining thing in the world especially when you don't watch sports like a super die hard fan. But I digress

its nice to see how as a kid he knew what he wanted to do and worked so hard to do that and a lot of the stories in the book are so amazing and pretty amusing. Not what I expected at all. I expected this to be a super slow and boring read but it totally isn't. I mean its better if you really know what hes talking about as far as sports go. But other than that its pretty good.

if you would like to check it out here is a link

i received this as part of the booksneeze program i wasn't compensated in any way.

hello blog #50! this shall be about my eyeball!

so i thought i'd post pictures of my eyeball cause i'm gross like that and somewhat amused by it. a little while ago i had a blood vessel break in my eyeball and i took pictures of it every day so here we go with the eyeball show!

new years eve is when we first noticed it:

 

day after that:

 Next:

a day later:

Day after that:

Next day:

 getting better:

day after that:

And Today 1-10-2010:

Book Review -The Sweet By and By written by Sara Evans and Rachel Hauck

The Sweet By and By its a story about jade and other family/soon to be family. Her struggles in secrets of the past the hurt the anguish of family and keeping the secrets. It all comes out but in this amazing story it all turns out in the end by Gods grace only.

This book was really amazing it flowed super amazingly it was one of those quick fast can't put it down kind of books. One that really draws you in loved it a lot. One of the quotes in the book that really got me was “We like to put God in a box, determine when and how He can speak to us, but He can relate to us anyway He wants.” just even that line is so inspiring like this book is. Jade overcomes all of it so well with grace.

if you would like to check it out here is a link

i received this as part of the booksneeze program i was not compensated in any way

forget the past..

old friends are an interesting thing.

sometimes when i think of the past it makes me happy and sad. happy cause i had good times and sad cause i'm not friends with any of those people anymore. some of them have come up and wanted to be friends with me again but then i think about it and i don't want to.

only because i'm not that same person anymore i've grown and changed and they will think i'm that same person still. but i'm so far from that person it isn't even funny. it is kind of sad to realize though that your "best friend" you had for 8 years wasn't really all that amazing i mean sure the times were good but when you think long and hard about it. you really weren't that close to that person at all.


i'm so grateful for the best friends i have now cause i've kept them for so long and i truley can tell them anything and its just amazing.

awhile back i went on a walk to clear my head from things that were plaguing me at the time. an i walked down a street that was a block ahead of the church i used to go to. my former youth group church, i went there for a long time til the church split. so like 5 years? there was this big open field in the back of the church and that was where i was looking at the church at. i saw the old church van and i just stood there for awhile. and i stared at the van, at the staircase to the youth room. it was so weird like looking back on my life sort of. it was almost too much to handle. i went through so much there and it was just so weird to look back at it.

also its sort of like i've abandoned people but really i've just moved on. i've done the same with blogs this one was starting fresh from where my previous one left off. there was too much drama, too much hurt and too many memories in my previous blog i just had to start fresh and i feel like i'm better for it.

i was just listening to these songs and they all struck me in one way or another. what do i know? in the grand scheme of things i don't know a whole lot. i don't always love and i don't really know holy all that well if at all. but i do know how to stick together and for that i'm grateful for my friends for my family (some not all i know i know... but can't blame me everyone has those thoughts). this is the day and this is the year. i dunno what God has planned but i'm sorta curious to find out i mean i know i don't know right now but i just don't know. and sometimes the fear of the unknown gets me right to the core but i know i have to deal with it. i can't think or worry i just have to shut up and wait. i'm still learning and i'm not so far in my learnings i dunno if that will ever happen i'm sure there will always be a backslide but i'll try and keep on swimming. hope you enjoy the songs. some of the lyrics i posted the whole song some just the part that got to me :)



"what do i know of holy"

I made You promises a thousand times I tried to hear from Heaven But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small I never feared You at all No If You touched my face would I know You? Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You Who spoke me into motion? Where have I even stood But the shore along Your ocean? Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful? What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about How You were mighty to save Those were only empty words on a page Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees




"always love"

To make a mountain of Your life is just a choice But I never learned enough to listen to The voice that told me Always love Hate will get you everytime Always love Don't wait 'til the finish line

Slow demands come 'round Squeeze the air and keep the rest out It helps to write it down Even when you then cross it out

(CHORUS)
But always love Hate will get you everytime Always love Even when you want to fight

Self directed lives I want to know what it'd be like To aim so high above Any card that you get dealt you

(CHORUS 2)
Always love Hate will get you everytime Always love Hate will get you I've been held back by something, yeah You said to me quietly on the stairs I've been held back by something, yeah You said to me quietly on the stairs You said Hey you good ones





"This is our day"

What we do here is just the beginning New life is starting at every ending We are a part of the story unfolding This is the weight of the world we are holding This could be our day This could be our day

Clearly it’s time to make a change Or I could keep sitting and waste all day I know that it’s time for me to move I’ve been given this minute to use And given this moment to prove that

What we do here is just the beginning New life is starting at every ending We are a part of the story unfolding This is the weight of the world we are holding This could be our day This could be our day

I was holding back Now I’ve come undone I want to touch the world Heal the broken ones Ending the cycle has just begun We’ve been given this minute to use And given this life to prove

What we do here is just the beginning New life is starting at every ending We are a part of the story unfolding This is the weight of the world we are holding This could be our day This could be our day

To give ourselves away For something beautiful A million miles away To the one who’s hungry, and thirsty And needs some hope To the people that are weary and broken and left alone I’m giving myself away I’m giving myself away

What we do here is just the beginning New life is starting at every ending We are a part of the story unfolding This is the weight of the world we are holding This could be our day This could be our day





"sticking with you"

Come on, it's me you're talking to
there's something going on inside of you
don't have to say it, but i whish you would
cause it would be much easier
You always hide behind yourself
you walk a lonely road with no one's help
i hate to break the news
you're headed for a fall
And if i have to jump
then I'll jump
and I wont look down
you can cry, you can fight, we scream and shout
I'll push and pull
until your walls come down
and you understand I'm gonna be around
I'm sticking with you
Even if you try and shut me out
I'm staying here 'cause thats what love's about
I might let you down, but i won't let you go
So lean into me, I want to know
Everything about the fear you hold inside
'cause you and i are better off than just one so
Chorus
If thats what it means to love you
If that's what it means to have your back
If that what it takes to show you
Then I'm in, I'm in

so this is the new year

So this is the new year. And i don't feel any different. The clanking of crystal Explosions off in the distance (in the distance).

So this is the new year And I have no resolutions For self assigned penance For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn As thirty dialogs bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days Then i could travel just by folding a map No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways There'd be no distance that could hold us back.

There'd be no distance that could hold us back [x2]

So this is the new year [x4] - Death Cab For Cutie



that song does ring true right now. i'm not even sure what to say but i will say things haha obviously. oh dear. well later on i'll post pictures of my eyeball. funny story though a friend from church looked at my eye (well a lot of people did and i got jokes like what are you smoking and etc) but then she was all "DUDE ME TOO" and showed me her eye. so we're eyeball twins with our broken blood vessels. it is pretty humorous. moving on!

i'm hoping this year will be amazing i mean last year sucked super badly but i have hope i think. i mean i have a super amazing bff and i sure didn't have that here last year. and church is going good. there is potential for good friends there too. so we'll see...

this year though i do want to lose weight, get my license. hope to get a job, and do lots of fun things. but last year did bring amazing things like bloom for once. that book club and the ladies i have met there are just amazing i love it so much i can't even comprehend it sometimes!

one thing i am done with is skate church. i mean i dunno they do treat me like crap a bunch of people do. one owed me money from a year ago its just so annoying to have to hound someone to give you something they owe you. why should i have to? ugh i dunno i got it last night though. so now i'm totally done. i went to the service with bff and like it was just weird and awkward. i know i'm not the only one in feeling this way though now. cause they were all oh yeah this was so powerful tonight and blahblahblah. but me and justin were like uhhhhhhhh okay? so at least i know i'm not super crazy. but then when we were talking to some people (which didn't happen much the entire time we were there it was like me and him standing alone in the sea of people kind of thing) the people well some of them either blatantly ignored me or one person was making jabs at me and making fun of me the entire time and its like what did i even do to you? i have done nothing but be nice to those people. but some still owe me stuff but i'm over it i got the money and i'm done don't expect me around there anytime soon or at all really i just am done. i feel better about being done with it too.

but at the same time i'm kind of upset because evan who is my oldest friend in seattle is all "skate churched" i dunno it just makes me sad cause we were gonna hang out a lot and i've seen him 3 times in the last 4 months and its like what am i chop liver? i don't get it but hes with them ALL the time. its kind of like he was brainwashed or something i dunno that just really frustrates me too. especially when i don't get invited to things that are right down the street from me and hes all well if you had your license things would be different? why would it? it really wouldn't i dunno i just want to slap people sometimes.

at least i have my bff things with him are good we went to see the princess and the frog yesterday it was good.

i wish more people read, or commented i dunno how many actually read this blog but i dunno sometimes i feel like i'm just writing to myself hah. how sad is that? i dunno anywho. i guess i'm done writing for now. later!